My Confused Heart ♡

Falling...in love? in a trap?

-How are you dear?

- I'm good alhamdulillaah.  U?

-Alhamdulillaah I was good. I'm even better now that you have accepted my request.

-I just wanted to get to know you a lil better before you go to my dad.

-Well of course. Sounds ideal. Go ahead, you may ask me anything.
Ooooh I love how he is so tender with his words...so polite.. so.. soo....omg!

-Hmm let's start with your work; what is your profession?

-Alhamdulillaah I have my diploma in sanitary sciences.

  Now what's that?

Hmmm...it's like I'm an inspector of the health department.

-Oh neat!

- I know you work at the Seeker's Garden, are you a teacher there?

- Well kind of. I am actually the secretary but I get along with the kiddos too much so I end up helping out in the classrooms as well.

- MaashaaAllaah!  A nice mother you will surely be for our children InshaaAllaah...
Oooohhh he says "our"! And he wants kids!!!! ♡ yoh I've always wanted twins. Allaah is just making this so right!
- I'm sure you'll be a great father too.

So..ummm...wanted to know what background are you from?

- Alhamdulillaah I am an Arab. My mother is Syrian and my father is Egyptian.
Egyptian blood! He must be having a nice voice for qiraat!  Oooh I'm gonna faint from my good luck!

- Oh so you ought to have qiraat skills, eh?! So nice maashaaAllaah!

  I'm also mix. My father is British and my mother is from South Africa,  but Malay cape townian.

"...."

"... ..."

"... ... ..."

An hour later

"Innaa lillaahi,  it's quite late dear. I'm sorry, I didn't keep track of the time."

"Oh! It's okay. It was really nice getting to know you! Alhamdulillaah."

"So..hmmm...InshaaAllaah, I'll get in touch with your father."

"Sounds good. Assalaamualaykum! "

"Wa alaykumusaalaam wa rahmatullaahi wa barakaatuh.  Fee amaanillaah. "

I saw online change into offline under Hamza, on my screen.

I logged out as well, closed my laptop and dropped on my bed. I quickly grabbed my pillow and squeezed it. Staring at my ceiling, this stranger's words were flashing in front of me, over and over again...it seemed like the words were written on the ceiling! His words were full of charm. I warned myself of sweet nonsense that guys tend to be skillful at. I also reminded myself that I have no guarantee this guy is for real and all he has said were true.
He could have easily lied to you Shazia or may be twisted the truth so it may please you. Leave this to your father.

I realized what I just did: I just broke Allaah's laws by chatting away with a ghayr mahram. Shaytaan got me so easily.

I changed into my pjs and let the thoughts cover me:
Religious yet he defied the laws of Allaah by chatting away. Very courteous. Takes a great interest in me therefore not conceited. Mature enough to handle the matter by going to my father. Bonus: he is probably quite handsome!
  Shaytaan will not give up yet. You need to delete him as soon as possible. There's no barakat if I talk to him before getting married.
  He mentioned he might come see me before this Friday so that the nikaah can be as soon as possible...
  My heart keeps fluttering for this guy...
And Ziyaad? I will never be able to get over him. I should use my brains this time and make the sacrifice; let him go so I can have a bright future InshaaAllaah. ..

The thoughts started to become faint as a cloud of sleep swept over me.