My Confused Heart ♡

News indeed!

I rushed out of the door. I was so late. This is the third day of the week I'm running late.
Argh I need to stop talking to Hamza every night.

This guy has taken over my life.

I end up talking through out the night with him and just stay up in the morning so my mother doesn't become suspicious.  And then I end up sleeping after dhuhr and get late. Very late.  Innaa lillaahi.

  Oh i just remembered! He said he will talk to my dad today.  Wonder how it went so far.

I looked both sides, ready to cross the road. I took a step forward then one backwards as a blue motorcycle zoomed past.
Oh this guy must be in a rush! I wonder how Ziyaad is...haven't heard from him a while.
Eish man! I need to clear my head from these guys.

I walked in the school yard trying so hard to focus on how far I've gone. Ive crossed a lot of boundaries.  I shouldn't have added Hamza forget talking to him for so long. When I get back home, I'll read two rakaah of salaatut tawbah (prayer of repentance) and I'll delete him.

  And I need to stop thinking of Ziyaad. It's the past now.

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I knocked the usual knock and stepped inside the house.

I greeted and my mother replied with a smile. She said, please call Nadir and Shaista for dinner. Dad wants to talk about something important.

I answered: sure.

  I knocked at Nadir's room door and he said: come in. I opened and walked in. I gave him mom's message and said, don't be too long bud.

He said, yeah yeah.just getting done with this file. Some reports. But I'll come now and get done later. 

  I reached the door and put my hand on the doorknob when he called out: hey Shaz.  Nearly forgot to tell you: Ziyaad gave something for you. I left it in your room.

  I was ... hmmm... I composed myself and said: " kool. JazaakAllaahu khayran. "

  I opened the door and he said: "Mom doesn't know..." I nodded and said thanks and walked out.

I knocked at Shaista's door and she said come in! I haven't seen her in long.

"Hey sis!  How's the study coming along?"

"Hmmm alright I guess. Just finished my one assignment. I have a project to work on...but I need to sort out the details for the Book Club outing next week. Being vice president gets hectic at times."

"Isn't the school supposed to take care of all this?"

"Yeah..but I wanted to go to this antique library. They have a collection of books no where else has! So I had a petition done...And...yeah."

I looked at her and realized how I'm losing my connection with my sister. We used to be so close before.

"Sounds great! I'm so proud of you!!!"

"Please make du'a it all works out great."

"InshaaAllaah all will be fine. Just ensure your five times salaah are being read, and trust me everything will work out perfectly fine!"

I gave her mom's message. And I asked: "hey can I talk to you about something"

She was like Sure and moved her books on the other side of the bed, and let me sit.

  I told her about the e-mail and my late  night talks. I didn't bring up Ziyaad at all.

  Shaista listened to everything.  At last I said, "I think that's what dad wants to talk to us about. Before dad talks to us about it, quickly tell me what you think."

  "Hmmm honestly Shaz, even though I'm no expert in this, I think you shouldn't get fooled by these kind of guys. The right thing would have been for him to go to dad and not contact you. "

She was looking straight in my eyes.  I nodded, approving what she's saying.

"We, girls, easily get fooled by these charmers. Just be careful. Guys can get us tainted. And it's hard for us then. My advice to you is let Dad handle this the right way."

I hugged her saying a sincere thanks.

I walked to my room. I saw a small pretty box on my dresser table. A small note laid next to it.

I opened and saw pebbles inside. They looked so familiar.  I grabbed the note:

        Dearest Zia,
   I found a box full of these and thought of giving you some. I hope you remember when we went to summer camp together in Grade 4.
  You loved the Lake so much and wouldn't want to stop collecting these beautiful pebbles.
  I knew how much you loved them but I asked you for it anyways. I still want to keep the rest because they bring back a lot of good memories of us.
 
                                  Always here for you,
                                                        Ziyaad.

Oh. My. God. Ya. Allaah!!!

So many memories. I was going to go down memory lane, but mom's voice interrupted: "Dinner is ready!"

  I closed my lovely box and slid the note under my pillow.

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The food looked divine in my plate. But my mind was on how I will handle what my dad has to say.

  "So dad has some news for all of us, my mom started saying. I hope we all think it's good news InshaaAllaah. "

"So my job gave me a new post, my dad continued, and we will be moving to Dubai for a year and a half InshaaAllaah."

All three of us stopped chewing and looked up from our food.