TAEKOOK | HOPE

• 10 close to caught

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☣

It probably goes without saying, but they come close to getting caught on more than one occasion. There are a few incidents in dressing rooms, where they've sprung apart just moments before a member of their staff appears, and one particularly memorable encounter when they'd forgotten to lock the door to Jeongguk's room and Seokjin had bounded in about thirty seconds after Jeongguk had pulled his mouth off Taehyung's dick.

Once, Namjoon walks into the bathroom while they're in the shower together, and it's nothing but dumb luck that he's too caught up in talking himself through some new lyrics to notice that there are two sets of clothes strewn on the floor.

Sometimes, it's as simple as them just forgetting themselves for a moment, a gesture that's a shade too affectionate or familiar to fall into the category of platonic. A hand on the waist, fingers tangling together, a glance that's a little too knowing or lingers a little too long. Jeongguk will catch himself and then catch the tail end of a curious look from one of the other members, or one of the staffers. Sometimes he wonders if everybody knows and is just too polite to say anything.

It's the hardest with Jimin. They're both so close to him, individually and as a trio, and keeping such a big secret from him feels almost like a betrayal. They have their reasons and Jeongguk knows them, but he honestly can't believe neither of them has just broken down and confessed to him yet. Somehow, he feels like the news wouldn't come as much of a surprise. He thinks Jimin has suspected something between them since before there even was anything. Probably because Jeongguk was so obviously enamored with Taehyung right from the get-go.

One night, he and Taehyung are in the dorm bathroom together, Taehyung perched on the counter while Jeongguk brushes his teeth. It's late, after midnight, so they'd chanced it, even though they're not doing much of anything right now. Just Taehyung swinging his feet back and forth, babbling on about some new anime he'd discovered while Jeongguk listens contentedly.

There's a light knock on the door and it swings open, revealing a sleepy-looking Jimin, rubbing his eyes in the sudden brightness. The door blocks his view of Taehyung at first, so his gaze settles on Jeongguk as he steps into the bathroom.

"Hey, sorry, do you mind if I pee? Jin hyung's hogging the other bathroom," he explains, yawning.

"Uh - " Jeongguk fumbles. He feels like they've been caught even though nothing particularly incriminating is happening. Just the fact that he and Taehyung are hanging out alone in the bathroom at one in the morning. "Yeah, sure."

Jimin moves further into the bathroom and closes the door behind him, startling when he notices Taehyung as well. He's leaning back on the counter now, back against the mirror, the picture of casualness. Jeongguk wishes he were that good at playing this sort of thing off - he feels like he always ends up acting awkward and making it worse.

"Hey, Jiminie," Taehyung greets lazily.

"Oh, hey," Jimin says, walking over to the toilet. "What are you doing in here? I thought you went to bed."

Jeongguk's stomach squirms nervously - Taehyung had pretended to go to bed and then snuck over to Jeongguk's room instead.

Taehyung, of course, seems unfazed. "Couldn't sleep," he shrugs, lying so easily that Jeongguk feels a little guilty. "Decided to keep our little Jeonggukie company instead."

Jeongguk glowers at him - he hadn't felt very little when he was fucking Taehyung into his mattress thirty minutes ago - but Taehyung just shoots him a cheeky grin.

"Oh," Jimin nods, flushing the toilet and lightly hip-checking Jeongguk away from the sink so that he can wash his hands. "Cool." He turns off the faucet, glancing between the two of them. Jeongguk finds himself suddenly wishing that he had decided to put a shirt on before they left his room. They're getting sloppy, he thinks. Too comfortable.

"Well," Jimin says after an awkward pause. There's something else lingering in the air with them now, a sort of unspoken question that makes the guilt twist deeper in Jeongguk's stomach. "I'm going back to bed. Night."

"Night," they chorus, and Jimin gives them a last look before slipping out into the dark hallway and closing the door behind him.

Jeongguk and Taehyung sit in silence for a few minutes, Jeongguk busying himself with washing up even though he's really waiting to make sure Jimin doesn't reappear. And also, maybe, trying to figure out what to say.

"Do you think he knows?" Jeongguk asks eventually, when he can't hold it in any longer.

"Probably," Taehyung admits, his head still resting against the glass of the mirror. "Or like, suspects."

Jeongguk sighs, staring at his own reflection because for some reason he can't bring himself to look at Taehyung. "I hate hiding it from him. All of them."

"Me too," Taehyung says. He lets out a weighted exhale. "We decided to do it this way for a reason, though."

"I know," Jeongguk replies, now looking down into the shiny white bowl of the sink. His chest feels heavy, all of a sudden.

He feels the pressure of Taehyung's foot against the side of his knee, nudging slightly, and finally lifts his head to meet Taehyung's gaze. His mouth is turned down in a frown, eyes worried.

"You okay?"

Jeongguk shrugs. "Yeah. I just - it's hard, sometimes."

He wonders if it's ever going to get too hard, if one day the pressure of it all will break them. His chest tightens further, and he tries to push the thought to the back of his mind.

Taehyung nods, offering him a strained smile. "I know."

They sleep together in Jeongguk's room that night, Taehyung setting his alarm for early enough that he'll be able to slip back into his own bed before Namjoon wakes up. Jeongguk holds him close, listening to the reassuring rise and fall of his breathing, feeling the familiar skin between his fingertips. He wills himself to focus on all of those things, anything to fend off the ugly, creeping sensation that they're running on borrowed time.

☣

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