TAEKOOK | HOPE

•41 [final]

☣

A few weeks after Taehyung moves out, Jeongguk walks into his own apartment and finds his boyfriend (!) sitting on the living room couch, laptop beside him and cheeks red and puffy. It seems pretty clear that he's been crying, and Jeongguk immediately rushes over to him in concern.

"Tae!" he cries, dropping down beside Taehyung and taking his face in his hands. "What's wrong, are you okay?"

Taehyung sniffs, nodding. "I just" - he hiccups - "I was listening to your album."

Jeongguk frowns, perplexed. "...My album made you upset?" When Taehyung nods, Jeongguk tries for a joke. "That bad, huh?"

"No!" Taehyung exclaims, shaking his head vehemently. "No, it's so good, I love - your voice, it makes feel calm - " he cuts off, letting out a choked sob.

Jeongguk is very confused.

"Shh, babe, that's a good thing, right?" he asks, stroking Taehyung's hair soothingly.

Taehyung hiccups again, wiping at his tears. "It's just - the album, it's about, I mean - am I - ?"

He looks at Jeongguk searchingly, and Jeongguk thinks he's starting to get an idea of what's going on here.

"It's about you, yeah," he acknowledges. It occurs to him that other than that brief exchange at Taehyung's premiere, they've never really talked about this. "Or us, I guess."

"I hurt you so much," Taehyung whispers, looking devastated. "I made you think I didn't love you back - "

He's getting more and more worked up, and Jeongguk decides to intervene before he starts hyperventilating.

"Tae, stop it," Jeongguk says. Taehyung closes his mouth, then opens it again. "I mean it, stop."

It's strange to think about, how not so long ago Jeongguk had still been heartbroken over Taehyung. With Taehyung's help, he's working on repairing the damage, but the shadows from that time still linger - the pain, the doubts, the insecurities. They both know it will take time to fully heal, but they're making progress every day. Jeongguk doesn't feel resentment or bitterness towards Taehyung, though - he understands now how they were both at fault, and that Taehyung is truly sorry for his part in what had happened.

"Look, we both acknowledged that we hurt each other, okay?" Jeongguk says. "But that's in the past now. I don't want you to carry that guilt around with you."

More tears slip down Taehyung's cheeks, and he looks unconvinced. "I just hate that I put you through that," he blubbers. "I left you alone - "

"And then you came back to me," Jeongguk interrupts, holding Taehyung's hands between his own. "That's what matters now. You have to forgive yourself for the rest."

"You know I loved you the whole time, right?" Taehyung says hoarsely.

Jeongguk's stomach swoops, and his own eyes start to sting with tears. "I know now."

Taehyung nods, and Jeongguk cuddles him to his chest, pulling Taehyung's legs across his lap and stroking his hair. They sit in silence for a little while as Taehyung calms down, burrowing harder against Jeongguk and wrapping an arm around his middle. Once he seems to have settled, Jeongguk remembers what he had originally meant to talk to him about today.

"So if that was your reaction to my album, is this the wrong time to ask you to come on tour with me?" he asks, aiming for nonchalance and failing spectacularly.

Taehyung's head whips up, and he stares at Jeongguk with wide (bloodshot) eyes. "Seriously?"

"I mean, yeah," Jeongguk says, feeling vaguely anxious. "Or part of it, at least. If you want to, and you can make it work with your schedule."