TAEKOOK | HOPE

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Jeongguk doesn't come downstairs for the rest of the night. After his shower, he locks the door to his room and lies in his bed, staring blankly out the window as the late afternoon light fades to dusk and then darkness. He ignores the gentle knocks on his door, Seokjin's voice telling him dinner is ready, Namjoon asking if he wants to talk. He ignores the way his whole fucking bed smells like Taehyung, the guilt that creeps into his stomach as he thinks about what he'd said and how hurt Taehyung had looked. None of it changes the fact that he's lost Taehyung again, probably for good this time. Maybe he'd never really had him in the first place.

He hates himself for getting into this position again, for falling into Taehyung so easily even when he'd known there was a good chance it would end like this. They hadn't promised each other anything, and yet Jeongguk had let his stupid fucking heart get away from him, entrusted it to the one person who had ripped it to shreds in the first place. He thinks back on their conversation the night before and feels disgusted at how hopeful he'd been, how eagerly he'd believed Taehyung might come back to him. It all seems like a sick joke now, the universe dangling what he wants most in the world right in front of him, only to rip it away right when he started thinking he could actually have it.

The night passes fitfully, Jeongguk drifting in and out of sleep, startling awake only to feel the nauseating weight of reality settle back over him. More than once, he keeps his eyes squeezed shut for a few extra seconds, clinging to the hope that it was all a nightmare, that Taehyung is really lying there next to him. It always ends the same, the crushing disappointment when he finally opens his eyes to the empty bed beside him, the hot tears leaking down his cheeks as he tries to force himself back to sleep.

He must fully pass out around five in the morning, because it's his alarm that ultimately wakes him at nine. He shuts it off and lies in bed for a little while, staring at the ceiling with swollen eyes and wishing that the whole world would just go the fuck away. But it doesn't, and Jeongguk has a life to deal with, so he drags himself out of bed and gets dressed, stuffing the remainder of his clothes into his suitcase. Then he steels himself and heads downstairs, not feeling particularly prepared to face the others but knowing he has to all the same. Some masochistic part of him wants to see Taehyung before he leaves, even though he knows it will hurt like hell, even though he knows they probably won't speak to each other. He just wants a last glimpse before they say goodbye for who knows how long.

When he reaches the kitchen, it's to find everyone but Taehyung, puttering around making coffee and pulling together breakfast from whatever food is left in the fridge. A hush falls over the room when he enters, and he ducks his head, knowing he looks like a wreck after crying so much last night.

There's a reassuring hand on his shoulder, and then Namjoon is sliding a cup of coffee into his hands, murmuring "Morning, Guk. How are you?"

"Been better," Jeongguk rasps out, forcing himself to look up at their expectant faces. He wonders if they hate him now for what he said to Taehyung. "Where's - " he trails off, suddenly unable to speak his name.

"He caught an earlier flight," Jimin says quietly, sadly, like it pains him to say it out loud. "He said he had to get back."

The words settle in and Jeongguk feels like he's drowning, his last shred of hope evaporating as he realizes that not only is Taehyung going to leave him - he's already left. It feels final in a way that shakes Jeongguk to his core.