my baby you'll be | e.d (✓)

32 - "barriers of the past"

'everything has changed' - taylor swift ft ed sherran
[ you'll be mine and i'll be yours. ]

☆☾★☁

raven's caramel eyes focus on the attractive young man in front of her, the only thing separating the two being a large brown desk.

the blue eyed boy leans back in his chair, intertwining his fingers together.
"how does that make you feel, raven?" his voice comes out stern, filled with seriousness.
"i don't know. betrayed, maybe?" raven answers, in the form of a question.

her eyes travel to her feet as her mind begins to wander to ethan, the love of her life.
she thought therapy would help.
she thought miles would help.

all this is doing is creating a deep barrier of the past in her mind, making her want to do anything except open up to him about how she feels.

"what have to been doing to cope with his passing?" miles deep voice echoes throughout the small office-like room causing raven to jump a bit.

"i wrote letters to him. i expressed any feeling of pain, sadness, betrayal and abandonment in the letters." she speaks clearly, her soft voice laced with pain.

"ah, i see. has it helped you?" raven looks up at miles, seeing his blue eyes focused deeply into her. his fingers gently fiddle with the black ink pen he holds in his hands.

"it has in some ways." raven answers, honestly. the worst thing she thought she could do was lie to him.
how would he be able to help her if all she did was lie straight through her teeth?

"how was it helped, raven?" miles sterly asks, his eyes focusing on the the girl before him.
"writing the letters gives me a place to escape. sometimes it feels like i'm still talking to him. it gives me hope." raven glances down, tears filling her eyes.

don't blink, raven. don't blink.

"it's okay, raven. it's okay to sometimes let your emotions take over you. it's okay to let go." miles leans forward in his seat, wanting so badly to pull her into his embrace.

but that's against the policies. that's wrong. both for him, and for her.

stay strong for him, raven. stay strong for ethan.

the girls thoughts take over her mind. she deeply thinks about who to listen to.
herself, or miles.

she blinks.

the hot tears building up in her swollen eyes begin to fall down her cheeks at a rather rapid speed.

why did you listen to him, raven? you're better than this.

her own thoughts drown her in indecisiveness. 

she blinked, once again.

in her corrupted mind, this was betraying ethan.

she betrayed ethan.