Settle Grey Marks

Prologue

Love.

It's simple with plenty of complications we must allow to happen. Majority of the complications isn't done by one's intention, but rather by another. Trust is the heart of any relationship we create with another. We allow ourselves to hear what we want to hear, even if what we hear is disguise as the truth. A little white lie can be the truth if it's told by the right person and if it's believed by the wrong person. Many relationships start to ruin because trust begins to fail. So what happens when trust isn't a key factor? Are all relationships, of any kind, born to fail? What if the answer to both questions is simple. All relationships are doomed to fail if you don't trust yourself in trusting another. All happy relationships are lasted by trust in one way or another.

If that is true, why am I having a hard time in trusting myself that this marriage is right? I am binding myself to eternal love, one that unites me and someone else as one. The man I am staring at across the room, ensures me he will bring me happiness, faithfulness and love. And somehow that isn't enough for me to calm my nerves. People smile at my direction, believing that we are destined for each other, but I know the truth. Me and him know the truth. We are not destined for each other and that shatters me.

Tall glasses clank to one another, celebrating the joyfulness of a newly marriage. Guests chat freely amongst themselves, gossiping about whether my mark is shining bright red. Pairs circle around the floor, swaying to the acoustic melody of love. Children play without a care in the world, or a care to my wedding. Young girls gush about the man across from me and of my dress. Young boys try to catch the eyes of the young girls, failing miserably for they can't compare to the one man who is now mine. The elders sit quietly in a crowded corner, watching me and everyone in front of them. My stare lingers on them for a moment longer, seeing an open space between two elderly women. My heart begins to quicken.

A tired smile catches my eye as I smile back in acknowledgment. My eyes wander back to the man across the room, finding his eyes staring back at me. My heart pauses the second I met his eyes. I find my mind going blank and my heart resumes its beating. It beats quicker than the music playing and faster than the kids running. His eyes study me as I study him. We both take each other in, smiles forming on our lips as his whispers a small 'I love you'. My breath catches itself, catching me off guard but it's that moment where a timid smile is returned back to him. It's in that moment where my blood stops flowing and my mind goes to the mark on my finger. I try my best to give an actual loving smile, but we both know differently. My hands touch the soft cloth on the table as I push the chair back, freeing me from being glued to it. Quickly, yet smoothly, I lift myself off from the chair and walked over to the back of the room. I had to leave.

I know his eyes are following me, those blue orbs piercing through my skull as I smile and nod at guests. Even in their eyes I can see the concern, but they try to hide it to their best to not worry me. However, I believe I'm the one who's actually worrying them, since I'm leaving my own wedding party. But it's not what they think. They may have their suspicions, but I know the real reason why I'm passing under the curtain and into the long hallway of my family's home. Workers pass by me, each having a tray of food or beverage. I'm tempted to reach for a glass of liquor, but I know the person I'm visiting tonight won't be pleased to smell liquor on my breath. So, I try my best and suppress the taste of liquor, but fail as a server with a tray full of tall glasses comes my way. I stop him with my left hand on his shoulder and smile at him as he lowers the tray to the level of my hand. I know I shouldn't be drinking liquor to calm my nerves, but I can't find a reasonable excuse to stop myself if I'm worried about the mark under my wedding ring.