Of Victors and Tributes

Chapter 2: Goodbyes

I'm working hard not to cry while I am escorted to a room in the Justice Building. The pain of watching Vestia being taken into her own room is too much for me, and a tear slips down my cheek as the door slams behind me. I suddenly burst into tears and bury my head in my arms, my body resting on the velvet material of the couch.

I make a mental list in my head so that I'm not focused on the fact that I'm crying my eyes out. Don't let Twine take tesserae. Mom needs to start working again because I won't be there, and if she doesn't then Twine and Lacey won't be able to focus on school. Don't buy butcher's meat or bakery bread even though that's what I promised them. It's not worth the loss in money. Twine needs to start going to the fence with Jean so that he can learn how to collect the bulbs and roots that grow just within arms reach of the wires. Lacey needs someone to help her with her homework since I won't be able to. She's still trying to get the hang of pronouncing big words out loud. Mom needs to start making her own home remedies instead of the apothecary's. Before I can finish my list, the door opens, and in walks my family.

The last thing I expected was for Twine to be the last one still crying. I hug him first, dry his tears with my sleeves, then pick up Lacey and keep her on my hip as I hug our mother. For a long time, we all hold on to each other like we will never be together again because we probably won't. And then we all sit down on the comfortable chairs and couches, surrounding the glossed wood with designs etched onto it.

"Let me tell you the rules. Twine, you aren't going to take any tesserae. We can survive without it. Mom, you need to use your own remedies since you're getting better, and you're going to have to go back to work. I'm sorry, but you can't afford to take any more time off. I want Twine and Lacey to focus on school, always. Twine, you or Mom will have to help Lacey with her after school work. Also, Twine, tell Jean to bring you to the fence so you can collect the plants and use them to trade or cook," I tell them immediately.

"It was rigged. They remember Weaver, they set it up for you to be reaped–" Twine starts. I cover his mouth quickly, nearly slapping him in the process. He stares at me furiously, but he knows better than to go on. There's no doubt that the Capitol is watching us right now. Legally, the Capitol isn't allowed to release the footage of us saying goodbye to our family, but I can't imagine that stops them from listening.

"This was purely coincidence. Now listen to me. Jean will take care of you all. Don't let anybody starve. Take care of each other," I say to them, and they all nod their heads.

"Are you going to come home?" Lacey asks me. She knows what the Games are, and she knows what happened to Weaver, but she is filled with false hope. So young, so pure. I can't crush her spirit.

"I will try my best," I promise her. Truth is, I haven't even considered how I could kill someone. No doubt I will fight, I will go down like Weaver did, but I can make no promises.

"I'll take care of them. You don't have to worry. Be strong. Stay strong," Mom manages in short intervals, leaning forward and hugging me again. I hug her back, then let her go. She's beginning to look sickly again, but I realize that it's just from stress. If she has another relapse of her illness, they'll be dead before I am.

"It's been so long since Cecelia came home," Twine says, looking down at his feet. I pull him closer to me, and then all of us hug again. I hold on to them in my last minute alone with my family. I don't pray, but I hope against hope that somehow I will make it out alive.

"Wait! Here, take this," Lacey suddenly remembers, pulling away from me. She presses something metallic and silver into my hand, and it feels familiar, but I don't have time to look at it. I tuck it in my pocket and thank her, and go back to holding them.