Of Victors and Tributes

Chapter 26: Another Interview

After the screening, me and my team are sent to the eighth floor of the Training Center, just like when I was training before the Games. Dinner is food that's generally bland and I'm not allowed to eat a few of the rich things, but conversation is supplied. Mostly centered around the Games and my survival, of course. I ignore them and focus on the food, which has become the most exciting thing in my life. Besides the thought of seeing my family in a few days, that is.

But after dinner, when everyone either clears out or leaves and Woof has fallen asleep on the couch, Cecelia invites me up to the roof. I never went up there before, I didn't even know we had access to the thing, and I considered turning her down until I realize that I can ask her about what happened in the Games. In fact, that's probably why she asked me to come. No one can listen over the howl of the wind, I suppose. So up we go, standing outside the beautiful garden growing up there.

"Taylor, what do you remember after Meadow's death?" Cecelia eventually asks me, twisting a daisy in her fingers.

"Axel dragged me out and I wandered around for a few days," I say. There's a painful silence. "Cecelia, what did I do?"

"I know you weren't entirely there. I'm sure the whole nation noticed your breakdown," she says, and for once she doesn't seem motherly. "You're in trouble." She adds this with a whisper.

"What?" I ask, but she doesn't have to explain it to me, because suddenly I remember.

I incriminated the Capitol, President Snow himself. After Axel dragged me away, I sat there and blamed Meadow's death on Panem. I wasn't wrong, but saying it was suicide. How did I survive, how did the Gamemakers not take me out? No, I mentioned my family, didn't I? Twine, I said his name. They wouldn't hurt him, would they? Have I doomed my family despite living against the odds? What have I done?!

"No, no. . . Cecelia, what do I do?" I ask, grabbing her dress with my hand.

"They cut out the footage, the only people that saw it were the Gamemakers and Snow. You're lucky," she says under her breath. "But that doesn't mean you're out of the woods. When you talk to Caesar, you need to thank the Capitol. You need to tell them that you suffered from madness after Meadow's death. I don't care how you connect it all, just do it. Do you hear me?"

I stare at her uncomprehendingly. Say I went mad? How would I excuse that, how would the Capitol think of weakness? Well, it's too late for that to matter now, since I've already lived. I have no choice but to say whatever I can to get out of this mess. I need to say how glad I am that the Capitol gave me a choice to be in the Games and helped me survive. I need to say that Meadow and I had become very close– that I saw Jean in her– and when she died I wasn't myself. But will that actually help me to keep myself and my family safe? President Snow isn't really the most forgiving type.

"Taylor, do you understand?" she repeats. I need to take another moment to think.

"Yes. Yes, I understand," I reply. She pats my shoulder, the left one that no longer has an arm.

"Come on, you should get to bed. You're on at two tomorrow, and you'll need a whole new outfit," Cecelia says as we walk towards the entrance of the building.

"Great." Because I just can't wait to spend more time with my prep team.

When I come into my room, I see that there's two things set on my bedside table. The arm that I don't know what to do with yet, and my pocket watch. I touch the arm briefly, fingers lingering. I guess it would be useful to have, but I don't know if I'm willing to accept something from the Capitol. So I go to my watch again, picking it up. That's when I notice something dangling from it. The watch had no chain when I first got in, but now it does. At first, I think that someone from the Capitol added it, but then I realize that I've seen this chain before. It's the bracelet. Pearl's bracelet.