|SASHAY FANFIC| it was always you

What Does This Mean For Us?

Sasha's POV

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I was honestly in shock. That wasn't acting.

"Sasha, are you okay?" Marlene asked as she approached me.

"Yea, sorry." I got off set and walked to my dressing room. I sat in my chair trying to process what had just happened. I'd never felt something like this before. I touched my lips thinking about hers and how she kissed me. I needed to talk to her. I was so confused, it's like I buried something and it came to the surface again. I needed to talk to her. I had a few more scenes, and Shay did too but not until the end of the day. I was hoping she wouldn't leave in such a hurry again.

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I had to focus on work right now, which seemed impossible. I wonder if Marlene would let me go if I told her I was having an identity crisis. I wondered if Marlene could tell that kiss wasn't just a kiss. I wondered what Ashley and Shay talked about after our scene. I wondered about everything except work. I had a hard time staying in character and giving my lines. But somehow I manged to get through the day. Once we got released I headed to Shay's dressing room. I hesitated before I knocked. What was I going to even say? I knocked. I hoped with everything I had that she hadn't left. Before I was ready she opened the door. She still looked so sad.

"Hey," I said.

"Hi," she replied.

"Can we talk?" I asked.

"Yea, come in."

I could smell her perfume in the room. It was one of my favorite scents. She always looked so perfect, even when she was sad. We sat down on her couch. She was awkward, but I had to figure out what was happening between us.

"Are you okay,"

"I don't know, are you?"

"I'm a little confused to say the least,"

"I'm sorry,"

"Shay, what's going on? please tell me, you can talk to me."

She sat in silence for a moment. I could tell something was beating her up inside.

"Sasha I'm..," She paused, I could see the tears well up in her eyes.

"I'm in love with you,"

The world stopped spinning when I heard that sentence. I froze. Somehow I feel like I knew this already but it was the first time I'd heard it out loud.

"And listen I know you're with Hudson and I totally respect and support your relationship."

I still hadn't said anything. I didn't want her to think I was weirded out by this, I wasn't. It honestly made me feel special.

"How long have you felt this way?"

"Awhile,"

"Is this what your fight with Matt was about?"

"We got in a fight about how distant I was being with him, he doesn't know about this. And I need to tell him, it's not right to lead him on when I have feelings for someone else."

"You're right." I said

"How do you feel about all this?" she asked, she reached out and grabbed my hand; reassuring me.

"Confused about sums it up. I've thought I was one way my whole life when it turns out I might be the other,"

"Sasha, you don't have to feel for me. You have a wonderful loving boyfriend, you don't need me destroying that,"

"No shay, it's not that. When we kissed today, I've never felt that spark before. Between me and anyone else."

"What are you saying?"

"I've always felt something between us, I just don't think I realized it until now."

"Are you sure? What about Hudson?"

"I'm not thinking about him right now."

"I don't want you to rush into this, at least until you're sure."

"I'm not sure about anything right now, except you,"

I squeezed her hand. Her eyes met mine and everything felt right. I had no control over what happened next. We started to lean into each other, and our lips met. Electricity shot through me, I kissed her like I hadn't before. The energy we felt was back. We had to stop ourselves.

"What does this mean for us?" she asked.

"I don't know, I need some time."

"That's fair."

We laughed together and she seemed happier and it made me happy.

"We should probably go home,"

"Ya probably," 

We had been talking for about an hour. We got up to leave, I hated to leave her but I had a lot of figuring out to do. She led me to the door and we left.

"I'll see you tomorrow then," she said.

"Of course, Goodbye Shay,"

"Bye Sash,"