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Persia Madlock I sat on the porch smoking a blunt with one headphone in my ear listening to Jasper talk to me over the phone. My nerves were bad hearing him pour his heart out to me about how bad he felt about not being there enough for his kids. He expressed to me that he felt like a failure as a father after what had happened to Kylah three nights ago. She'd been raped and severely beaten damn near to death. She'd been put in an induced coma to give her brain time to heal because of the swelling on it. I knew that the girls had gotten out of control but that didn't take away from how much I still loved and cared about them. That didn't mean I wanted to hear about how a child— my child had been raped and left for dead bloody and beaten in a dumpster. She was only 13 years old and she just needed guidance. I was heartbroken about it. Jasper was taking it harder than anybody because he'd lost not one but two children before.
"Baby.." I put the blunt out listening to him sniffle. "Listen to me....this wasn't your fault. You're not a failure as a father." I told him.
"But I left them P. I should've been around more. I should've been able to protect them. I should've looked harder for her that night before this could happen. What the fuck have I done? Oh my fucking God. What have I done?"
I stood up from the chair I'd been sitting in and looked in through the screen door at Jameel, Kamaurie, and Arianna who were sitting on the floor in front of the television. Normally I'd have them in bed by this time but they were all worried about daddy and their sisters and since their father wasn't home they'd been sleeping in bed with me. I had no problem with that because I wanted them close to me. Jasper had gone back to Louisiana to straighten some things out and without him here being our protector I'd been on edge worrying about if someone would come breaking down my door to arrest me. He was only supposed to be gone a few days but with everything that had happened with Kylah I knew he'd be gone longer. I had no choice but to respect that because I regretted ever letting him leave town for me. He'd left so much behind for me and it was time I did something for everyone to make it back right.
"I know how much the girls need you. I know that you miss being home with your family and friends. I'm so sorry that you gave everything up for me. I know you're tired of moving from place to place so..." I exhaled walking off of the porch just to put a little distance between me and the kids since they liked to eavesdrop sometimes. "I'm gonna turn myself in."
"What?" He said angrily.
"It's for the best baby. I love you. I love you so much for doing what you did for me but it's obvious that we're never gonna find anything to clear me as Mia and those killings so I think—"
