✨thoughts✨

letter to you

This is mainly a letter to my best friend. I miss you.

Hey,

I know that you wont ever see this, but I need to tell you some things.

Jaxx, I miss you with every trembling bone in my body. You were the only person I trusted, loved, and lived for. You were the only person who cared for me back then. I thank you deeply for that. I wish you could see how much I have grown. I have been going to therapy and actually talking this time. I work on my music more. I am writing songs and actually preforming in August. I know you always wanted me to go far with my music. You saw the light in my eyes when I sang.

I saw pain in your eyes. I wish i had helped more. Maybe you'd still be here with me. I wish i had said i love you. Because i do love you. I love you so goddamn much. That will never change. I saw the light die out from your eyes. I didnt know how to help you. I should've said something to you. I should have been there for you Jaxx.

I hope you are watching over me and smiling. Because I'm still alive. I never thought I might have made it this far. I hope you are proud of me. I miss you. I miss your laugh, your smile, your dimples, your slightly curly hair. I miss you. I love you.

                                    Love, Ashlyn

July 24, 2019.