CHAPTER 26
JEAN POV
"Can we talk?" my voice turn into whispers.
"Jean! Hi. Sure we can talk"
"Face to face". Boon stays quiet for a while before replying.
"But we just meet. It's kind of late now, you know," Boon sounds unsure as if not wanting to meet me.
"I have something to tell you now. But, nevermind. It’s late and..."
"Okay," Boon interferes before I could finish.
"Sorry"
"No. I'll go meet you now"
"Are you sure?"
"Yes. Where should we meet?"
"I don't know. Somewhere quiet so we could talk"
"Okay. I'll drive you"
"It's okay"
"It's dangerous. Just text me your address".
....................................................................................................................................
I am waiting for Boon nervously at the front gate of my house wondering how I should tell Boon. My heart sank at the thought of what I said to Hyun Seong. I convince myself it's for the best but my heart aches so much. There's no turning back Sin-Je. You hurt Hyun Seong for the second time, why can't you get a grip of your selfish self. I cover my face with my palms. Now, I'm doing to Boon. I regret for calling Boon to talk. What should I say? That I accept him? But the truth I still love Hyun Seong, which I'm trying to let go by using Boon? I hit my own head for even thinking of something so selfish. I shouldn't do this to Boon, I should call him not to come.
I almost drop my phone when my phone rings.
"Hello?"
"I'm outside," Boon voice eco in my ears. I went freeze and want to run back to my room and cover myself under a layer of thick blanket. But, I can't run away. I breathe in a large amount of air as I braze myself to open the door. Boon is standing outside of his car, smiles when he sees me. I give him a small smile.
"There's a park just down a few houses. Can we talk there?" I ask. Boon seems confused but nod instead. I lead him; both of us walk in quiet until we reach the empty park. Not anyone can enter since it's inside the housing area surrounded with walls and guarded by securities.
"Boon. There's something I need to tell you," I speak after a long period of silence. I feel uncomfortable under the silence since Boon would always try to start a conversation first. But now he doesn't say a word at all but only stares at me.
"You know I am willing to wait," Boon says looking at the ground.
"No. I don't want you to. I.."
"Are you saying you are going to reject me?" Boon asks with much louder voice. I flinch and look down on my feet. Boon let out an awkward laughs.
"Okay, I get it. You don't have to say, I get it". Boon stands up ready to leave. I quickly grab his wrist when he starts to walk away.
"I..I decide to give it a try," I say looking straight at his face. Boon shock face turns into a huge grin quickly resuming to his seat next to mine.
"But, there is something you need to know," I add.
"What is it?" Boon asks still with his huge grin.
I look away from him and begin to speak.
"I used to date Hyun Seong. He's a member of Obsidian, an idol group from Korea. We broke up few 3 months ago but I still do love him".
Boon laughs but when I turn to him, his face turns serious.
"You are serious? You're not actually saying that just to test me?" I let out a stupid laugh rubbing my tears away that are threatening to fall with my hand.
"It sounds stupid isn't it?"
"I... No. I knew about that group Obsidian. Hyun Seong? It’s just well…," Boon stammers trying to put into sentence. I know it sound absurd. When Boon keeps quiet and only stare into blankness, I slid my phone on his hand displaying pictures taken with Hyun Seong, the members and managers in different places. Boon scrolls over the pictures with disbelief look then grip my phone tightly. Boon opens his mouth to say something but no word come out, closes them again and opens again.
"But why did you break up when you still loves him?" Boon finally asks.
"I leave him". Boon look at me rather confuse.
"For the best. He worked so hard to come this far and I don’t want to take the risk. I have to think about him and the group. We only dated for a month, so before our feelings get any deeper, it's better if I leave him". My tears fall when I speak blurring my eyes, the image of Hyun Seong hurt face appears in front of me again. Clenching my fist tightly trying to control myself in front of Boon but the tears couldn't stop flowing. Without saying anything, Boon give me a tight hug, rocking front and back; I feel myself calming and my tears start to stop.
"Boon, I'm sorry"
"Shh... are you trying to say you're sorry because you're using me to forget about Hyun Seong?" I freeze from what Boon said as the truth is always unpleasant to hear. Boon release the hug and place both hand on my shoulder.
"I'm sorry". My head hang low embarrassed to look at him. He holds my shoulder firmly gaining my attention.
"I don't mind. I don't care who and what guy you dated. Thou I hate that your heart beats for not me. But, I'm happy that you told me the truth. I’m happy that you are willing to give me a try. I promise I would make you happy and forgets about him. I'm going to make you fall for me no matter what it takes. I promise".
I could only stare at him with plenty of questions start popping into my head. Why would Boon want to try? He should just walk away. What if I never fall for Boon and end up hurting his feelings? Why would he still want me after knowing about how I feel?
"Jean, thank you," Boon words bring me back to the reality.
"What if I hurt you?" I ask.
"I'm willing to take the chance. But I have a confession to make too," Boon says with a grin. "I am extremely humiliated and hurt when you show me that blank look. It turns out the way I never expected. But I still hope to have a little chance. When you called me and said you wanted to talk at this hour, I knew you are going to say no. I'm afraid so I actually don’t want to face you. I admit I'm angry and really piss off, I'm sorry. I just hate myself for not trying harder or get to know you more or win you". Boon let out a sigh messing his hair then play with his fingers before continuing, "During the walk to this park, you have no idea how nervous I am. I couldn't stop trying to figure out what you're going to tell me. I try to figure out your actions but you look so calm and I knew completely what you're going to say. I feel like a total loser. But, I was wrong". Boon holds my cold hands tightly, "I will never let go of your hand Jean".
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MY IDOL BOYFRIEND
FanfictionObsidian, the raising idol group from Korea is blooming in popularity around the world. Like all other fans, Jean really likes that group as well. When, one day, the idol that she is crazy of is right there in the cafe she is working. Somehow, an un...
