A Fresh Start

Be Brave

February 14th, better known as Valentines Day in the fine nation of America, I used to think that it was the most ridiculous holiday gracing our calendars, but now I don't know how to feel about it. Part of me wants to maintain my cynical outlook on the holiday, to say that it is a holiday that is nothing more than a money-making, consumeristic, excuse to make women into love-struck damsels yearning for validation. Unfortunately, the lovey-dovey atmosphere in the air has gotten to me. As much as I try to deny it I am hoping for some romantic profession of love from Sebastion.

On the morning of February 14th, I woke up to a note on the end of my bed. All it said was: Marie when you're ready, come down to the soccer field.  I felt my heartbeat increase, damn it, what was love doing to me! 

Nevertheless, I got up from my bed and started to get dressed. In an effort to maintain some of my lost dignity I refused to apply my regular makeup. After all, I wasn't in need of a boy's approval, I was an independent woman, I just happened to be one that wanted a totally cliche valentines day love proclamation.

I walked down the stairs feeling relieved that the house was quiet, I left a note on the breakfast table explaining that I'd gone out for a run. I walked down to the field as thoughts ran rampant through my mind, why the soccer field? Did he want to practice? What was going on?

I arrived at the field around 9oclok, it didn't take me more than a few seconds to spot Sebastion. He was lying in the middle of the field dressed in a hoodie and dark wash jeans, gosh he looked good. I walked up to him, still wondering what in the world was going on. I sat down, tapping Sebastion on the shoulder. 

"Morning Marie," he said as he turned to face me.

"You want to tell me what I'm doing in a soccer field on Saturday morning?" I asked sarcastically, making him smile. I didn't know what it was about it, but it was different than his usual carefree smile. 

"I-I wanted to talk with you about something." He looked away from me, refusing to meet my eyes. 

"Yeah, what's going on Sebastion?" I asked him, I didn't see why he was so nervous, he knew he could tell me anything. Oh gosh, did he cheat on me? Nope, nope, Marie you know that's ridiculous, don't let your trust issues ruin this thing you've built. Sebastion looked back over at me,

"I-I heard your conversation with that girl Anna last night." I heard myself gasp in horror, I was sure that nobody was home. "I came home early from the game to plan something for us to do today, but I stopped when I heard you talking." I felt blush fill up my face, last night I had been talking to Anna about Sebastion, more specifically about how I was absolutely and completely in love with him. I was worried that I'd fallen to hard, to fast, I was afraid of scaring Sebastion off. Anna assured me that I was being ridiculous, she told me that as a witness to our relationship I had absolutely nothing to worry about. I can't believe he heard me talking about that, god if I hadn't scared him off yet, this would surely do it.

"I-I don't- I mean I wasn't really-" Before I could manage to fabricate some sort of statement to salvage my pride Sebastion interrupted me.

"I'm in love with you Marie," I started to talk, he'd said this before I just didn't know whether or not I should take it seriously. My parents always said that they loved me, that didn't stop them from leaving. Again, before I could turn my thoughts into understandable sentences Sebastion cut me off. "No you don't understand, I don't know how to explain what I feel for you. I can see my life with you, I can see a wedding, kids, waking up in the morning next to you. But even crazier than all that is the fact that I can't imagine my life without you." He looked up at me, and I imagined he could see the tears brimming in my eyes. "So if you think that you're the one who's going to scare me off, you're wrong."