Voir Dire (N.H.)

thirteen

Kelsey woke up in Niall's bed-again. It was the third time this week and Kelsey had a feeling it wouldn't be the last. It had been a week since Niall and Kelsey had fatefully decided that being just friends wasn't something they could manage, and if Kelsey was being honest, it had been a week of pure bliss.

They hadn't defined anything. Neither Niall nor Kelsey was sure what this meant or what their relationship was. But they were sure of one thing- that they couldn't get enough of each other. Their physical chemistry was there, and the attraction they had felt in that fateful night in the club hadn't faded. But it was their emotional connection that kept the two wanting more.

It was their conversations in the mornings that were Kelsey and Niall's favorite. The words spoken as Kelsey lay against Niall's bare chest, the light from the morning sun illuminating his blue eyes in just a way that seemed to make them sparkle. It was those words that almost convinced Kelsey that maybe she could put her heart on the line again. That maybe all the destruction and heartbreak of her past were behind her. Maybe. 

But every so often, Kelsey's fears would creep back in. She'd be in the middle of kissing Niall and wonder if maybe all this was a mistake. And then she'd hesitate, because she wasn't ready for her heart to be broken. Not again.

Niall had become infatuated with Kelsey. He knew this would complicate things, he knew that whatever this was, was going to lead to problems down the road. But for the time being he didn't care. He just wanted to enjoy the feeling of being with someone that made him feel so alive. He was trying to take things slow, because he knew that Kelsey was hesitant to jump into something again. And maybe the hesitancy he sensed from her is the reason why he'd neglected to tell her what was probably the most key piece of information about his life right now. That in the eyes of the public and his record label, he was dating Krystal. 

Niall ran his fingers through Kelsey's chestnut hair, eliciting a soft moan from her lips.

"This is becoming quite a habit isn't it," she said softly, turning her head to look up at Niall.

"Not a bad one though?" Niall replied with a smile. He wouldn't mind if all of his mornings started like this one.

"I suppose not," Kelsey laughed slightly. "Getting a little spoiled though in this king sized bed."

"Just using me for my bed are you?" he teased.

"I mean, I suppose the man in it isn't too bad either," Kelsey laughed. 

"Let me go get us some breakfast," Niall regretfully moved from his position next to Kelsey, standing up on the side of the bed and pulling on a pair of loose fitting grey joggers.

Kelsey moved to follow him to the kitchen when Niall held up a hand to stop her. "Let me bring breakfast to you."

Kelsey nodded, feeling her heart beat a little faster from Niall's gesture. He really was a bit of a romantic, and Kelsey hoped that it wasn't just because he was trying to woo her. She sat up in the bed, looking out the window at the early morning light. 

Ten minutes later Niall returned carrying a silver tray with two cups of steamy coffee and a plate of breakfast pastries laid upon it. 

"It looks delicious," she smiled, grabbing a cup of coffee from the tray as Niall slid onto the bed next to her. 

"Fresh from the Horan bakery," Niall joked, holding up one of the pastries. Kelsey rolled her eyes at Niall's attempt at a joke.

"Oh right, because a baker is just one of your many talents."

"Maybe it is," Niall raised his eyebrow. "Or maybe Tara's just a really great assistant who picked me up some fresh ones from an actual bakery this morning."

"My parents used to do this," Kelsey suddenly said. "Have breakfast in bed."

"They did?" Niall asked. Kelsey hadn't told Niall much about her parents, in fact, she wasn't even sure if she'd mentioned them once. Niall never asked. He knew that family relationships could be complicated and he figured Kelsey would open up about them in due time.

Kelsey nodded, her mind flashing back to Saturday mornings long ago, when she was young and naïve and believed that everything in life was a bit of a fairytale. "Every Saturday morning, my dad would get up and make my mom breakfast. Two strips of bacon, a scrambled egg and a piece of toast. And then he'd bring it up to her, on this crystal glass tray that used to be my grandma's and they'd sit and eat breakfast together."

Kelsey looked at Niall, his eyes fixated on hers. He slid his hand to rest on Kelsey's thigh, and for some reason that's all the encouragement Kelsey needs to speak her mind.

"They did that every Saturday morning, until my dad found out about the affair. Like everything was alright until it wasn't." Kelsey felt her words harshen at the thought of it. Maybe that's why she's never quite understood her parents' divorce. Because she'd never seen them fight, she'd never seen them show any signs of not being hopelessly in love. So then why had her mother cheated on her father? Had it all been a façade? 

"I think I'd understand it more, I think I'd accept it if I saw they were awful to each other, you know," Kelsey's voice grew a little weaker, on the cusp of breaking down. "People's parents get divorced all the time and they say what a relief it is, because for the first time in their life, everything's not a fight. But with my parents, it just seemed like everything was perfect. Everything was perfect and she ruined it."

Niall stayed quiet, not because he didn't want to comfort Kelsey, but because he knew this was her processing out loud. He'd been there before, with his own parents. Not quite in this way, but he knew how it felt to have the world as you knew it torn apart. 

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to ruin your breakfast," Kelsey apologized, trying to read Niall's face to see if he thought she was totally crazy. 

"Don't apologize Kelsey, divorces are messy. There's nothing wrong with having a little resentment about it." Niall wrapped an arm around Kelsey and she let her head fall to rest on his shoulder. "I was only five when my parents called it quits, but I remember it well. I don't think we can ever fully understand it unless we are in the situation."

Niall felt like this was as good as time as any to get his own demon in the closet off of his chest. He worried that Kelsey might react poorly, but he also knew that he would much rather her hear the news from her than from some piece of media. 

"Kelsey, there's something I've been wanting to talk to you about.." Niall began, just as his phone began vibrating on the bedside table. He leaned over it, seeing the name of his agent flash across the screen. What was he doing calling so early in the morning?

"Sorry, it's my agent," Niall said, picking up the phone and placing it to his ear. "Hello?"

"Niall where are you? The shoot was supposed to start 15 minutes ago."

Niall scanned his mind for any recollection of a shoot. What shoot? Then he remembers- the shoot for his new music video. 

"Oh, shit, I totally forgot!" he exclaimed, jumping out of bed and rushing to his closet to find a T-shirt. "I'm headed that way." Niall hung up the phone abruptly, leaving Kelsey with a confused look.

"Apparently the music video shoot was this morning. I totally forgot," Niall explained as he ran around the bedroom flustered , hoping that Kelsey would forgive him for cutting their morning short. 

"Are you in trouble?" Kelsey asked, hoping that she wouldn't be the reason that Niall would make his agent mad. She hadn't really intended to spend the night at Niall's last night, but as seemed to be their routine, one thing led to another...

"They'll get over it," Niall laughed. "You can stay as long as you want though, no rush." He leaned over to Kelsey's perch on the bed, planting a warm kiss on her forehead.

"I'll see you later then?" Kelsey asked.

"I'll text you," he responded with a smile before rushing out the door, leaving Kelsey to wonder just what he wanted to talk to her about.