Voir Dire (N.H.)

twenty-three

Kelsey checked the time. Again. The numbers glared at her from the brightness of her phone screen.

3:01pm

The results were supposed to be sent out at 3.

Did she not get registered? Had they lost her test? Had she given them the wrong email? Kelsey's mind was racing through a million reasons as to why her LSAT score wasn't coming through her inbox at this precise moment.

Two weeks ago, Kelsey had sat in front of a computer with a hope of redeeming herself. Unlike the first time she'd taken the LSAT, this time she had been calm and collected. She had started the morning off with breakfast in bed and a large cup of coffee courtesy of Chef Niall, himself. He'd walked her to the door as she left his house, holding her in his arms and whispering in her ear "You've got this". And that morning she did. She felt like she had it.

But as another minute ticked by on the clock, she began to doubt that she'd "got this" all over again.

Kelsey refreshed the page again. Still nothing.

"Refreshing that page fifty million times isn't going to make it load any faster darling," Niall said sternly, placing his head into Kelsey's shoulder a little further. Kelsey had told Niall several times that there was no need for him to be with her when the results came in. She could handle the relief or disappointment all on her own. But then he reminded her that she'd been with him on his big night, the least he could do was return the favor, and he "didn't even have to change out of the sweats" for it. And she had to admit, leaning against Niall's chest as she refreshed the page for the tenth time was kind of nice.

"They should be up by now, it's..." Kelsey watched her screen refresh once more, this time a new email popping up. "Oh my god it's here." She felt her heart begin to race, and shoved the phone into Niall's hands. "Open it."

"It's your score, you should open it," Niall argued back, trying to push the phone back into Kelsey's grasp.

She shook her head adamantly. "I can't do it Ni, please." Niall looked at Kelsey's pleading eyes, they are filled with a fear he hasn't seen across them in a while.

He knew she was nervous. She'd worked so hard for this over the past year. He had tried his best this morning to rehearse what he was going to say if it all went south. He hoped it wouldn't. And as stood in front of his mirror, coming up with all the wonderful things that he hoped would make Kelsey realize she was so much more than a test score, he realized how silly it all was. Because she was going to pass. There wasn't a doubt in his mind.

He sighed. "Fine." He clicked open the message, taking his own deep breath before reading.

Kelsey tried to read Niall's eyes as he opens the email. But he kept his poker face strong, which only antagonized her more. "Well?" she asked.

Niall raised an eyebrow with a smirk as he watched Kelsey squirm in her seat on the couch. "172, that's great Kels!"

"172," Kelsey repeated slowly, hardly believing her ears. "Are you sure you read that right? It's not like a 127 or something?"

"Kels," Niall said, bringing the phone in front of Kelsey's face. "It's a 172. You killed it."

Kelsey read the numbers for herself, seeing that Niall was indeed correct. "I'm going to law school," Kelsey breathed.

"You're going to law school Kels. I never doubted it for a minute." He planted a kiss on her forehead, wrapping his arms around her in an almost smuggling embrace.

"I did it. I DID IT," the volume of Kelsey's voice raises with each word she said. She stood up from her place on the couch, pacing circles in the living room. She didn't know what to feel. Relief? Excitement? Pride? A mixture of the three?

Kelsey knew it might seem premature, celebrating a test score when the actual admission was yet to come, but she also couldn't help but feel like she'd overcome the biggest barrier. A barrier that had plagued her for over a year, reminding her of all the things she'd been through and just how fragile her life had been. She had doubted herself so much over the past year, her self-confidence had vanished, and this- this score, was proving to her that she wasn't a failure. Her life wasn't a complete mess. And maybe she was coming out of a valley. Maybe she could be at a peak for a while.

"We've got to celebrate," Niall exclaimed, breaking Kelsey away  from her thoughts.

"I've got a bottle of wine in the fridge I've been saving. And I guess Becca has a bag of peanut M &Ms..."

Niall stood up next to Kelsey, placing a finger to her lips before she can even finish her sentence. "Forget the wine and the M&Ms darlin', what's the one thing you want to reward yourself with at the moment?"

"Honestly I could go for some chocolate ice cream. I can text Becca and have her pick some up on her way home..."

"Well let's go get ice cream then," Niall stated. 

Kelsey looked at Niall cautiously, because she couldn't have possibly heard him correctly. "Go get it? Niall you know we can't be seen."

"We can drive through and pick it up can't we? Or I can get out of the car?"

Kelsey gave Niall a questioning look, still unsure of this suggestion. Of all the things to go out in public to do, this seemed like the least important thing on the list. But Niall is unwavering, pulling out his keys from his pocket and dangling them in his hands like a treat. 

"This is a special occasion Kelsey. I don't care what you say we are going to get that ice cream. Twenty minutes there and back. No one will be the wiser."

Kelsey sighed, knowing that this was one thing that Niall wasn't going to change his mind about. She reached out and grabbed his hand, following him to the door. She locked the apartment behind them, as Niall headed down the elevator to grab the car. 

Kelsey couldn't tell if she was high on excitement because of her LSAT or because she was riding in the passenger seat of Niall's car for the first time since they had "broke up" in the eyes of the label. No longer hidden behind the blacked out rear windows of a sleek black escalade, Kelsey felt on top of the world. Nothing could be better than her hand intertwined with Niall's as the LA sunshine warmed them through the windows and Niall's album played softly in the background. 

Kelsey began to wonder what she had worried about when they pulled up to the ice cream drive-thru. There are no other cars in sight, and no one paid a second glance to the messy haired brunette with the thick sunglasses pulling up to the window. Niall ordered a hot fudge sundae with extra fudge, Kelsey a chocolate malt with Reese's. 

"Mmmm," Kelsey said taking a bite out of her treat. "This was a good choice."

"Told you to just trust me," Niall smiled, setting his cup in the center console as they pulled away. 

"I'm so proud of you," Niall said, gazing at Kelsey in a way that made her heart flutter. 

Kelsey smiled. She was pretty damn proud of herself too.