Sadness Hotline || Ethan Nestor x Reader

ten

*TW: suicidal thoughts, & self harm*

I woke up really early in the morning. It was about 7 am. Way earlier than I normally wake up. Ethan was standing at my stove making pancakes.

"Goodmorning Y/n!" He giggled.

"Wow, what a sleepover we had. We litterally just watched movies and fell asleep." I laughed.

"Well the important thing is, we had fun." He said handing me a plate of pancakes.

"I have to go do some work stuff, but I'll talk to you later. Bye Y/n." He smiled, getting ready and walking out my door.

I smiled as he left.

*Time skip brought to you by a lazy writer*

I sat in my room. Scrolling through Instagram. I posted a photo of myself, which I rarely do, I had felt confident. But after reading the comments, the confidence left me.

No.more_em0: you look like a rat lmao

Tol.smol.and_dead: bitch is ugly

Yert.skert: why?did?you?post?this?

I felt sadness overcome me. The sadness I hadn't felt in a long time. I hadn't felt this, depressed, since before I met Ethan.

All of those old thoughts came back. I looked at my arms, my thighs. There was so many old scars. Some that were only just healing from weeks ago.

I looked at my phone, and deleted the picture.

I thought about it, a razor going across my skin. Blood trickling down my arm, and the temporary release of all of the emotions that had come from those stupid comments. Release from past incidents that happened to me.

Then, I gave in. I went to my bathroom, and grabbed a razor, hidden under my sink.

I ran the metal against my arm, slowly. Red liquid oozed out of my arm. I sighed, and tears dripped out of my eyes. I grabbed a cloth, and tried to clean myself up.

Another way of coping for me is, sleeping. So, after cleaning up, I went to sleep.

*Ethan's P.O.V*

I texted Y/n a thousand times. They weren't picking up.

Would it be weird for me to go to their house? I just want to check on them. Make sure they're okay.

I drove to their house after finishing a video for YouTube. I knocked on the door a couple times. I got no reply so I carefully opened the door, and called for Y/n.

I searched the apartment, but there was no signs of them, until I walked into their bedroom. They were cuddled up into a blanket, in a hoodie and shorts.

Their hoodie sleeves were slightly rolled up, revealing their wrist.

There was dried blood all over their arm. I ran to them.

"Y/n! Are you okay? What did you Do? Oh God." I asked lightly picking them up.

They opened their eyes, softly looking at me, then their arms.

"Oh, fuck. Um, U-um sorry, Ethan." They apologized.

I sighed. "You scared the shit out of me." I hugged them.

*Your P.O.V*

Ethan pulled away from the hug, there was tears staining his face.

I felt so bad. Worse than before, I didn't know I would cause this type of hurt. I didn't know I was important, at all.

I hugged Ethan back. "I'm, so sorry Ethan."

We sat like that for a while. Hugging, and crying.

Word count: 551

An; sorry if this one was a little gory. Sorry I haven't updated for a while. Just to let y'all know, if this upset you, please be aware of the trigger warnings at the beggining of chapters like this! If they may upset you, then skip the chapter. Thank you <3

Hopefully more updates soon. :)