Can't Stand To See You Cry (Jacob)

Chapter 1

The rain pounded down on the roof of his house the way his head pounded from this alcohol. Jacob sighed and stared out the window, watching the patterns on the glass from droplets pelting down. He held a small, clear shot glass in his palm and rolled it back and forth between his fingers. Normally the brown liquor wouldn't have had much effect on him, but he hadn't eaten today. He was supposed to be over at Emily and Sam's house for the pack's weekly "family" dinner, but his mood was foul and he thought it better if he just sulk at home. Alone.

Jacob reached for the nearly empty bottle of whiskey and poured himself another shot. He stared at the glass for a moment, holding it up to the fire before him. He loved having a fireplace in his home. It reminded him of all the bonfires and council meetings and good times the pack had shared. But now the dancing flames only reminded him of her. Her.

Now his thoughts drifted back to her. He cursed himself for being mad. He had no right. She wasn't doing anything wrong! Jacob sighed even more deeply when he glanced at the clock and wondered if she was still out on her date.

Don't think about it.

Jacob knew there would be many more nights like this, so why was he torturing himself? Maybe because he saw how excited she was when she picked out her dress, because he was there. And he saw her face when her date arrived, because he was there. He was always there, but not because she wanted him there. Not anymore.

Her parents wanted her to have normal experiences like parties and dates and dances. She had never been allowed to attend a regular school, so when the opportunity arose for her to join a theater workshop six months ago, she begged her parents to let her join. Now she had a small group of friends to hang out with and a boy who was a little too interested for Jacob's taste. Last weekend, the group put on their first real production and tonight was the wrap party. There were no chaperones and needless to say, some people were nervous.

Nervous didn't really even begin to cover what Jacob was right now. Miserable was more like it. But again, he knew he had no right to feel this way.

Jacob slowly pulled himself from his oversized, worn leather easy chair and carefully made his way to the kitchen. There was no food in the fridge, but he hoped to find another bottle of the strong brown liquid he desired. He began loudly pulling open cabinets in his small kitchen until he found his prize.

There you are...

Jacob stumbled back to the living room with the bottle in hand. He paused briefly when the pounding started up again. He pressed the bottle to his forehead and considered whether or not drinking anymore tonight was a very good idea. The pounding persisted until Jacob realized where it was coming from. Someone was at the door.

He growled. His surly mood wouldn't improve because the pack had come to pay him a visit. He leaned his forehead against his front door and considered ignoring it. His house was dark except for the fire and a few candles.

Maybe whomever it is will just leave?

Jacob fumbled with the lock and clumsily opened the front door to see if anyone was still there. His porch light was broken and the rain hadn't let up, but his eyes let him know that someone was indeed still there.

"Hey," he whispered, his voice still gruff from the alcohol. The lone figure seemed to be retreating into the night. He stepped out a little further and waited for her to turn around.

"Renesmee?"

~~~~~~~~~~

Jacob held his breath as his imprint turned to face him. He had seen her earlier in the night. Her hair and been pinned up and her makeup flawless. The satin baby blue halter dress that everyone at the Cullen house admired, had fit her figure perfectly, even if Jacob and Edward thought it was way too short. Now her hair was hanging in her face, wet from the rain and curling from the dampness. Her eye makeup was smeared from crying or something else? Her dress was torn in the front and was that a bruise on her arm?