Ιn Your Vertigo 🌼

Chapter 16.)

A/N
I picture the song above playing during the first 4 paragraphs, when ivy and Caspian are keeping their distance. 💞

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One week later

• Ivy's POV •

My eyes opened abruptly, as I turned the other side of my back rustling in the sheets. I threw my hands down in exhaustion. I rubbed my eyes removing the cold liquid from their corners, and from my stained cheeks. I peered over to the tiny white box on my night stand. The clock indicated it was a two in the morning. I sighed, stirring up in bed hanging my feet over the edge. I looked up to the mesmerizing night sky, shining down on my feet and the hard wood floors. A chill ran up my toes, then my feet, then my legs when I touched the cold ground. I slowly walked over to the window, to look out of it. The moon, a full white circle in the sky never failed to capture my eyes in its beautiful spell. My legs stepped upon the windows brown wood ledge. My back slid down the side of it, until I was sitting hugging my bent knees. I unlocked the metal latch on the window, opening the left one, leaving the right one I leaned my head against closed. The fresh wind flowed through my hair, as it did the same with the lush trees below my pale limp body. Tears involuntarily streamed down from the sides of my eyes, like my eyes were bleeding with pain.

Caspian and I hadn't spoke for what seemed weeks now, but in reality it was just one. Time slowed down when I wasn't with him, making being apart this long almost impossible. Sometimes I would see him in the hall, sitting in one of the windows look out of it. I could almost swear I saw tears on his eyes. It was like we were back at square 1, like we were when he first arrived to black manor. How I wished he would open the door, tell me everything was going to be alright and cuddle me to sleep like he always did. My bed didn't feel the same without him in it. I only wanted him, to come to me. I needed time after what happened, by how much time did I really need? I was ready to forgive him, but he wasn't ready to be forgiven. I had spent so many years, always apologizing to people first, that right now I needed him to be the first to speak, instead of me.

Thea my now ex best friend, on the other hand I knew wasn't going to apologize anytime soon or for that matter; ever. She meant what she said. I hurt her so her anger was understandable, but I didn't; however, understand how she could be so cruel. Did I really mean nothing to her? After all these years behind her pretty angel face was a devil? I didn't want to believe that Thea was a bad person. I know she wasn't deep down. It's really what she said about me. How I only cling to abusive people because I'm alone, that I can never stick up for myself, and maybe if I could my brother would still be alive. That's what sticks out most in my mind is the certain fact that se was right. I couldn't stop my parents from abusing me, or my brother. They punished me more, but they put more mental pressure on him. His mind couldn't bare it anymore, and eventually his head burst like a tick.

I sat in silence thinking of these things for the hours to come. They occupied my mind, and filled my eyes with tears, but yet that was still better then even trying to sleep. Sleeping seemed foreign to me this last week. In 4 short hours the sun would rise and we would try again, to go on. I don't know how much longer I can take being alone.

• • •

I watched the sun rise, it's bright rays reaching over the hill tops minute by minute slowly but surly. The sun always rises, no one has ever seen it not. It's taught me even on the darkest hours, the light will shine again. Maybe Caspian and I were going through a rough patch, but we too, would rise again.