Coincidences

My Dreams

Carver hadn't left his mate's side unless it was to use the bathroom. His heart was a twisted iron knot in his chest, the back of his throat clogged with impending tears. Kai's grey eyes were dull and unseeing; half open. Carver tried for days to get some kind of response from his mate or his wolf, but Carver could only feel emptiness in the bond. He was terrified. He felt like a fool. The doctor thought Kai was a few weeks along, and that matched the time Kai had his heat.

Carver had tear stains on his cheeks, dark bags under his eyes, and stubble along his jaw.

Why couldn't he do this right? The thought alone had Carver choking on tears, wishing he wasn't such a screw up.

Conner had come in a few times, seeing if he could help talk to Kai too, but he wasn't successful either. Conner had told Carver that their dad finally had a heat; probably due to stress and because his omega side knew Amilya wasn't dead.

Carver was happy for his dad, knowing his depression had very bad days sometimes. At the moment, Carver didn't have the energy to respond to his brother.

When Carver would fall asleep, he'd see a little white wolf and he would run to him as fast as he could, but then the white wolf would disappear in the darkness.

"Please," Carver would beg, "wake up. Wake up so I can tell you how sorry I am. How much I need you. How much I love you."

Carver's hand rested on Kai's belly, caressing the small bump that was there. Carver's heart would swell with so much pride and then become filled with just as much sorrow.

He was a daddy. Him. Carver wished he could stop crying but his body wasn't listening to him.

A week had passed, Carver not realizing it had been so long. His Dad and Papa had come in, his dad smelling genuinely happy and concerned. He was glad for their presence, but couldn't bring himself to move or respond to them. He'd probably screw up talking too. Sam had been checking on both Carver and Kai, the doctor pressing Carver to eat; he didn't. He couldn't. 

It was raining outside. The gloom just as dark as Carver's heart. He was so tired. When he closed his eyes, he was still in darkness. Nothingness. Carver was in wolf form, the black fur of his wolf blending into the darkness around him. Carver howled. He howled loud and broken, conveying the pain and anguish and sorrow in his soul.

Carver collapsed on the ground, his wolf so lonely and scared. He wanted his mate and his mate was nowhere to be found.

A white paw was suddenly in view, the whiteness almost blinding in the pitch dark. Carver's head popped up in surprise, startled. It was Kai's wolf! Carver stood slowly, the last few times he had ran to the wolf, it disappeared. He wasn't sure his heart could take it if that happened again. The white wolf looked at him, Carver drawing his ears back like he was reprimanded. Carver gave a soft yowl, looking away. He didn't deserve to see Kai or his wolf. No matter how much his heart yearned to.

Carver heard a soft yowl in return, looking up startled. Kai's wolf never made a sound before. It looked like the little white wolf wanted Carver to follow him. Carver stood slow on shaky legs, following the little wolf through the darkness. There was nothing around them but he seemed to know where to go. Carver made sure he didn't get too close, in fear the white wolf would disappear again.

Carver suddenly noticed a stretch of darkness that looked like a grassy knoll. It blended well with the darkness. Carver was startled when Kai suddenly disappeared into it. Carver howled in pain that the few moments he got to see the white wolf were now gone.

A yip suddenly sounded out, Carver looking up to see Kai's wolf head popping out. Carver was confused but slowly made it over. He saw a slight decrease in the ground. The only thing he feared was not seeing his beautiful mate again; not wherever the darkness lead. Carver ended up in a small place. It just fit his large bulk, realizing the white wolf was in the very back of the underground area they were in. Carver slowly made it to the white wolf who was pushing grayed leaves and grass here and there before curling into a small ball, looking at Carver.