• thirty four •

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Trey
Tuesday, April 30

I feel so ashamed of myself that I could throw up right now.

I haven't been feeling right since yesterday, my guilty conscience was eating me alive. My mind was racing a mile a minute and I had to talk to someone about it.

As soon as I dropped Kiara off at school, I made a detour to Chris' house instead of going straight home. I had to tell Kelly about what I've been doing, and I was going to, but I needed to vent first.

"What's good bro?" he greeted once he opened his door.

"Yo man, I need to talk to you."

"What I do?"

"Nigga you ain't do nothing. It's about me. I gotta clear my head."

We walked into his living room and sat down.

"Okay... what you do?"

I took a deep breath trying to figure out where I should start.

"So around the end of January, I started helping Janay."

"Uh, helping her how?"

"Like financially."

His jaw clenched as he glared at me. "I'ma just let you keep explaining yourself because maybe you'll give me a reason as to why I shouldn't light ya ass up right now."

I sighed, "So you know how Kiara and her daughter had a play date that one time? Well one turned into another, which turned into multiple. One day she came to pick up Naomi all distressed and on the verge of tears. She told me she was about to hit rock bottom, and I asked her what she meant by that. She started telling me about how she was struggling to make ends meet and she didn't have enough money to pay any of her bills, including Naomi's tuition for school."

"And you believed her?!"

"At first, no. When she went into the house to change Naomi's clothes after that first play date —"

"After I told you it wasn't a good idea." he interrupted.

I sucked my teeth, "Yeah yeah. She told me that Naomi's father was killed months before she was even born, but he was a producer so she had a lot of his money saved up. So with that background knowledge, I asked her how she could possibly be short on cash. She then admitted that the money has been gone for a year and she chose not to tell me initially because she was too ashamed."

"So somehow, after all that sketchy shit, you still ended up helping her."

"Let me finish." I said, getting irritated. "I went to her house the next day to see for myself. Once I stepped foot in there man, it was honestly sad. Old ass torn up furniture, barely any food in her fridge, electricity turned off. I'm thinking ain't no way she's living in these conditions with a damn child."

"I mean that is sad, but with a crazy bitch like that, all she would get from me is thoughts and prayers."

"I know but this is different. That little girl means the world to Kiara and I would've felt terrible knowing she was in a situation like that and not doing anything about it."

"Does the woman not have a job?"

"She hasn't worked in years. She's been trying to find a job since the money's been gone but she hasn't gotten any luck."

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