My Pain

Depression Part 1

This didn't truly happened 😂😂😂
Lil Eazy E POV

1992😓 was a bad year for me. Imma try to talk about this without crying. So at first everything was going great. My dad was working on his EP 5150;Home 4 tha Sick. It was blowing up very well. If you didn't know, i have a girl bestfriend. Her name is Keyvontiana but I call her Key. She was literally someone I could vent to. We talked about people together. We made dance videos together. We were so in synched. I loved her so much. We told each other that one day, we will marry each other and live in a big mansion and have a bunch of kids🤣🤣🤣. But on September 19,1992 was a day that I will never forget. We was at a friend house and Key was walking me home. My mom was also with us.So when we made it to my grandparents house, my other friends mom said that my mom had forgot something so I said my goodbye to Key and my mama said she would be back later. Her and Key went back to the house. The power had went out for some reason and all of a sudden I hear gunshots Pow! Pow! Pow! That scared me so bad because their was a shooting down the street because of some people fighting. My grandparents got on the floor because they didn't know if the gunshots were going to come in the house. We got up when we heard the police . We went outside and I saw a complete horror. My mother and my bestfriend were laying on the ground....... lifeless. Their bodies were riddled with bullets. My mother was shot 32 times and Key was shot 21 times. Their was blood everywhere. They died on the scene. After that I ran into my room and cried so much. I couldn't talk to anybody. My daddy was in Los Angeles during that moment. I called him ASAP and he said that he was coming. My sister Erica came into my room crying and gave me a hug. She seen our mother get shot. She was traumatized. My dad came into my room. He didn't say anything. He just held us tightly in his arms as we cried our hearts out. He knew that nothing he could say or do was going to change the fact our mother was gone.
He kissed both our faces as we fell asleep that night.

During that time, I felt so broken. So lost. So empty. I felt sadness everyday. I remember I used to act like I'm fine but I'm wasn't. I was not ok. When I'm alone , I cry and cry and cry till I couldn't no more. I had tried everything to make the pain go away but it wouldn't. Imagine losing your mom at 8 and 6 1/2 years old. I even committed physical pain to make the emotional pain go away. I use to take a razor and cut myself on my arm. When I first started it hurt , but after while I had got use to it. Every cut would make my pain go away. I felted relief. But it then be came a problem...........