To Learn To Fall (Sequel to the Other Side)

Chapter Twenty One (The Lord of the Sky)

I never realized how alone I was until I barely spoke to him anymore. The only chances I got to even catch his eye was whenever we passed each other in the hallways.

What did I do wrong?

It was a question I often asked myself as the light dwindled from outside and I was left staring up at the ceiling. There wasn't really such a thing as darkness anymore, but I did realize how big my bed actually was.

It's going to be fine, I told myself, again and again. Maybe if I believe it, then it'll come true.

I held up the knife in my left hand and let it hover over my right. "Ready?" I asked James, mostly because I definitely wasn't. He nodded, and I let out a breath of air. I let the knife dig into my wrist without pause, because I knew if I paused or waited any longer, I wouldn't be able to go through with it. I gasped at the sudden burning that the steel knife induced.

James winced, but he didn't say anything as he stepped up to where I was sitting and sprinkled a handful of the golden dust into my blood. "Can I—?"

"Just wait."

Strangely, it didn't hurt. It tingled a bit, but it didn't hurt. I watched as the dust slowly sunk into the cut and into my bloodstream, turning the red that had already spilled gold. The cut healed itself, and I let out a breath of air I didn't know I was holding.

"How long did that take?"

"Four seconds."

I nodded and ran my other hand over where the cut was seconds before. There was nothing to indicate a wound. No scar, no faded white line. Nothing.

"Alright," I said. "You can put the cuff on in three, two..." I took a deep breath to steady myself. "One."

James wrapped the clamp around my arm, and my control of energy faded away. I swallowed as his hands left my arm, taking all energy with them.

It was instantaneous. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't see, I lost all bearings of my surroundings. And just like that, I was drowning. Falling. A scream, possibly my own. I reached out an arm and Something was there. I held onto it as light flooded my vision.

I panted to catch my breath and opened my eyes.

"It didn't work," James said, his head lowered as he removed the cuff from around my arm. It hadn't escaped my notice that the inside of it was padded, so my skin wasn't pressed against the steel. "It didn't work, Thomas. It just didn't work."

He was right, and in fact, things were so much worse now. I had no respite between losing the energy and the poison taking control any more. "Well. Let's try again." I readjusted myself. "Maybe we just need to wait until it fully dissolves in my bloodstream."

"Thomas, we can't. The poison is incurable for a reason."

"We have to try," I begged, surprising myself. I guess all of my hopes were pinned on this, and if it didn't work, what did I have left? "James, please?" Maybe if I could fix myself, then Alexander will want me again.

"Thomas, no." He took the knife away from me.

"Give it to me."

"No."

"James, that's an order."

The words flew from my mouth before I could stop them, leaving James staring at me in disbelief. His mouth fell open, but his hand shakily handed me the knife, and no matter how hard he tried to fight against it, he couldn't.

"No, wait," I said, and his hand fell to his side again. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to—That was an accident."

James sighed and stood up. "I've got to go. Why don't you—"