To Learn To Fall (Sequel to the Other Side)

Chapter Twenty Six

Waking up the next morning in a room that made me remember just how alone I was, only one thought immediately sprung to my mind. Today was either going to be the best or worst day of my life.

I sat up in the bed for a while, trying to sort out my thoughts and make myself look like I wasn't crying or whatever, when a knock sounded on my door. "Come in," I called, barely wiping away tears, which were so pointless because there was no reason why I should be crying. I assumed it would be Eliza, and I didn't really care if she saw me like this.

It was not Eliza.

Thomas opened the door and slipped inside quickly, closing it after him. He stopped and leaned against the wooden door, as if catching his breath. "Hey. I am sorry for bothering you so early."

I kicked off the blanket and shot to my feet, which I regretted fervently as the blood rushed to my head. "No, no! It's fine. Can I help you with something?"

Thomas tilted his head back to look up at the ceiling. "I wish." He sighed and stepped over to the bed, but must have thought better of it and conjured up a chair for himself right across from me. We couldn't have been more than a few feet apart, yet it almost felt like miles. "I forgot to ask how the guards are treating you. They are not too bad, I hope?"

"You don't have to do that," I said, falling down to the bed. "Talk that formally I mean. I won't judge you too much."

He laughed and let himself relax into the chair. "Sorry. Old habits you know? The guards?"

"Hmm? Oh, they're not too bad. They just kinda make me nervous, but I'll get over it. I'm strong." There was something bugging him, I could see it. I wanted nothing more than to reach out my hand and place it against his cheek, but that would have been entirely inappropriate. "What are you here to talk about?"

"Oh, uh, I guess I'm just burning my bridges, so to speak. Or maybe not. I'm not really good with Earth expressions." He let out a breath and shifted so he was sitting on his legs. "Alexander, the possibilities that I won't be chosen as lord are slim to none."

"Great way to start."

"Yeah, well. I do try. Anyway, these past few months have been... quite frankly? Awful. I—it reminded me of before. Before you lost your memories. You hated me, and that was fine, because I mostly hated you. But this time it was so much different and I just... I don't know. I guess what I want to say is that I don't want us to end things on a bad note, if it comes to that."

My stomach plummeted. "Right. No, I agree."

Thomas nodded, almost disappointed. Was he expecting me to say more? "Right. Well, I was wondering if we could be friends again? Even if we only have a few days left with each other?"

He was certain he wouldn't be coming home with us, so certain that it was impossible to argue with him, to insist that there was still a chance he could escape Avionerra and come home with me.

The full selfishness of my words sunk in, and my throat constricted. I should be happy and supportive for him, and yet here I am. He doesn't owe me anything, not after the way I treated him. Let him go. I just needed to be happy for him.

Thomas was watching me carefully, and I realized with a start that I had left his question unanswered. "Yes. Yeah, I would like that a lot."

"Right." Thomas rose from the chair, and his smile didn't feel exactly genuine. "Well, thanks, Alexander. I hope this isn't the last time I ever get to talk to you or anything." He added a laugh for the last part, trying to brighten something that could very well be our future. "I'll see you later?"