Don't Let Go - A Dear Evan Hansen Fanfiction

5

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Evan Hansen
Wednesday September 5, 2018
Third period, lunch
Trigger warnings: None. Please tell me if I missed anything.
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Evan thought for a moment before deciding on what to say. "Well, um, I like trees, uh I have severe social anxiety, uh I ramble a lot so just tell me to stop whenever and I'm sorry for that, I like the colour blue but you already know that because of your timer's ring, I also like English, like the class not the language but like the language is cool as well and I'll shut up now but like I enjoy writing," he vocalized, not letting out or taking in a single breath until he was done. "Oh, and I'm also b-biromantic and asexual."

Connor let out a gentle laugh, making Evan blush once more. That laugh should totally be illegal. It's figuratively melting my internal organs.

"Woah, Hansen. That's- wait, can I call you 'Hansen'?" A slightly worried look flashed across Connor's face, making his brows knit together and the corners of his mouth turn downwards a microscopic amount.

"Oh! Uh y-yeah, you can call me whatever just like yeah I mean sure, 'Hansen' is fine."

"Alright, cool."

Evan took a deep breath, letting it out slowly before he spoke. "So, Connor, who are you?"

The darkly-dressed young man sighed, looking down at the hard grey pavement beneath him. "I'm sure you've heard the rumors, Hansen. Everyone here has."

"Well yeah, I have. But what other people think of you or how they see you or perceive you shouldn't define who you really are, because that's something only you can decide. I don't need to know how many people think they can say who you are, I could probably find that by myself. I want to know who you are, not who others think you should be."
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Connor Murphy
Wednesday September 5, 2018
Third period, lunch
Trigger warnings: Implied trust issues (sort of). Swearing. Please tell me if I missed anything.
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Connor sat silent, in shock. Who is Connor? Who am I? Do I even know who I am or who I want to be? Evan's right, other people shouldn't be able to choose who I am... but do I even know myself anywhere near as well as I should?

Letting out a gush of air he didn't realize he was holding, he shook his head slowly, a sad, defeated look on his face as he raised his eyes to meet with Evan's once more.

"Honestly, Evan," he began, after deciding that honesty with his newest acquaintance would be the best route to take. "You're right. Although I don't even know who I am or want to be. I guess the only way to describe me is... 'lost'. I guess I'm just waiting, for anything to happen. For something to change. For... I don't really know."

Connor was stunned. He hadn't opened up to someone like this in a long time. Even then, it hadn't been on the first day of meeting them. Maybe it was this soulmate thing, maybe it was the lack of human interaction as of late or maybe Connor was just too sleep deprived to care, he didn't know. But it was almost like there was someone else guiding his actions. How he went from his normal I-don't-give-a-fuck and take-your-shit-elsewhere self to this new person, someone who was wanting to be heard, seen, noticed. This new character who trusted easily and hid nothing... the change was almost frightening.

The school bell sounded, marking the end of third period. Startled from his thoughts, Connor gave his soulmate a tired half smile, slinging his bag across his chest as he pushed himself up off the ground. He reached out his hand to help his companion up, ignoring the jolt of pleasantly strange heat and electricity that passed through his hand and darted through his veins at their touch. Keeping hold of Evan's hand once more, he pulled the boy close until their shoulders touched and he could whisper in his ear, keeping their hands connected as he did so.

"I'll be here tomorrow at lunch," he breathed out softly before releasing Evan and disappearing around the bend.
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