No One Can Know About Us (Motionless In White)

The same old script, just different lies

Ricky's POV: 

I couldn't concentrate during the shoot. My mind kept wondering to Natalie and how different she was. She wasn't the girl that I was in love with. She looked cold and heartless, but that didn't stop me from thinking about her. The way her lips would taste. Or how it would feel to have my hands around her neck as she looked at me through those big eyes, begging me to never let her go. 

"Ricky, come on, where's your head at," Jeremy's voice called as I snapped out of my thoughts. 

My eyes landed on Sarah and this insane feeling of guilt washed over my body. I shook the thoughts of Nat from my head and tried my best to make it through the shoot. Jeremy ended my set early and started prepping for Ryan's while I walked to the couch and grabbed a cup of coffee from the table. I exhaled a deep sigh and let my head fall back. What was wrong with me? That girl cheated on me, with my best friend. I shouldn't think about her. Not like that anyways. 

"Babe, are you okay," Sarah's small voice asked as she sat down next to me. 

I nodded and intertwined our fingers. "Just thinking about our tour and how much it's going to suck that you're going home," I muttered. Lie, I thought. 

"Baby, it's only for a few months. Time will fly and before you know it, you'll be back with me in Scranton." 

I sighed and took a sip of my coffee. "I know Sarah, but I just worry about us sometimes." I stood up with my coffee and saw her concerned face. "Like, don't you ever want more? Don't you ever want a guy that can be there with you all the time?" 

"Of course, but then I remember that I have you, Rick," she muttered. "I don't need someone there with me 24/7 because I got you, the guy of my dreams." 

I shook my head and started pacing. "Sarah, I need someone with me all the time and you can't take the time off work. I need a girl to travel with me because I need intimacy, you know that. I don't want to hurt you or cheat, but that's what's going to happen eventually." 

"Ricky," she mumbled as she stood up. "Wh-what are you trying to say?" 

I opened my mouth to say something when I saw Chris with his arms around Talie and his lips against hers. I closed my mouth and narrowed my eyes at Chris before I quickly looked back at Sarah. "Sarah, I think this might be the end of the road for us," I whispered. "I just don't think we're right for each other." 

"You want her," she spat at me. "You have always wanted her! Ricky, she was terrible to you!" 

I ran my fingers through my hair and shrugged my shoulders. "Sarah, I'm not breaking up with you for her. I'm breaking up with you because I'm genuinely concerned about our relationship. We have no spark anymore. Nothing is fun."

"That's such bullshit," she hissed. 

I glanced back towards Chris and Talie, noticing that they were in a heated conversation but his hands hadn't released her from his grip. It made my blood boil because Sarah's not completely wrong; I still have feelings for my ex. 

"Sarah, I'm sorry. I can't help it," I admitted. "But even if I hadn't seen Natalie, I would have said something to you. I just don't feel it anymore." 

Her face fell when she realized that this had been a long time coming. "I cannot believe you, Ricky!" 

"Hey, guys, keep it down. You're interrupting the shoot," Sabrina suddenly snapped at us. "What's going on with you two anyways?"

Sarah let out a humorless laugh before she narrowed her eyes at me. "Well, it would appear that Natalie still has Ricky's balls locked up tight in her back pocket," she hissed.