the one for me - benjey

part 20 - cheater.

so the chapter title kinda gives away what's happening, but oh well. also i came up with this chapter so the story is gone be a little bit longer instead of only like two more chapters.

benji's pov

jorge. he's a happy, loving, energetic boy right? right. but lately, he's been depressed. i'm not quite sure whats going on with him. there's this tension between us that's never been there before, well except for the past two weeks. i can't quite put my finger on what's happening, but it's not a good feeling.

are we drifting apart? does he want to leave me? i don't know.

the very boy who has me all wrapped up in my finger is awkwardly sitting next to me on the couch, when normally he'd be all over me with cuddles. i sigh, needing to know what's going on.

"jorge. we need to talk."

i can see his face turn red and his whole body tense up.

"what been going on with you lately?" i question.

"uhhh n-nothing." he stutters through his nerves.

"that was the biggest lie of the year."

"benji. i said it was nothing. can't you just take that as an answer?"

"well not if this is how our relationship is gonna be! i don't want have you sad and feeling like you can't talk to me, jorge. i'm your boyfriend. i love you. you can talk to me."

"i can't talk to you about this, benji."

"why not?"

"because you'll hate me. you'll leave me. i can't put you through that type of pain. or myself for that matter."

"what the hell is wrong?" i yell.

i can see him flinch at my sudden change of voice and it breaks my heart a little bit knowing i'm scaring him, but i need to get this out of him so we can work passed it and go back to how things were.

"benj-"

"just tell me jorge! i can handle it."

"no, benji plea-"

"just tell me!"

"benji no!"

"god dammit jorge i'm begging you! just tell me what's goin-"

"i cheated on you! are you happy now?" he yells, cutting me off of my previous statement.

"y-you what?"

"i cheated on you."

"wha- when?" i question, tears forming in my eyes.

"two weeks ago. while you were visiting your family." he says, looking down, obviously ashamed of himself.

the tears accumulated too quickly and began to fall. i look off in the distance before turning around, walking to our bedroom, slamming and locking the door behind me.

i hear soft knocking through my sobs.

"benji. i'm sorry. please, let me in." a henry voice says from behind the door, but i ignore it, still crying at a rapid pace.

eventually the knocking stops, i assume the other boy gave up trying to get in here. i soon hear noises from the guest bedroom, so i also assume he'll sleep there for the night and i'll sleep in here since it's too late to drive to a hotel, for either of us.

i cry until who knows what hour before the year ever start to slow down a little, and before i know it, i'm knocked out.

**

i wake up and can physically feel the puffiness in my eyes, lips, and nose from crying so much the night before. i don't even know what to do now. do i keep crying? do i go back home? do i forgive jorge? i can't decide. so i just sit. i stare at the ceiling. i probably look like a robot from moving so minimally.

i feel like i can barely even breathe. i'm not crying, i'm not moving, i'm only staring. staring into nothingness. i feel empty inside. i feel like jorge ripped my heart from its rightful place inside my chest and threw it off of a cliff, only for it to be shattered at the bottom.

i can hear a slight banging on the door once again. the same from the night before. but i once again ignore it, and continue to stare into nothingness. what am i supposed to do? open the door and take jorge in with loving arms? then apologize to him for his wrong doing?

i continue doing nothing until the knocking stops, the younger boy once again giving up on trying to get me to move even an inch.

**

it's been a week since the whole incident. jorge and i are still both in the apartment since i spend almost all of my time locked away in our bedroom. the first time i left was only to get food and it was after two whole days. even though i haven't felt hunger since, i forced myself to eat.

i hadn't even said anything to jorge yet, even though he tried to talk to me when i would occasionally emerge from my cave. but i would always ignore it, just like i'd ignore his knocking.

my days consist of staring at the ceiling for the most part, occasionally crying and occasionally eating, or drinking water. i've only showered once and it wasn't really a shower. i sat on the floor, fully clothed and jut let the water fall down on me as i silently cried.

i wouldn't even make noise when i cried anymore. i was so empty that i couldn't even make noise. i couldn't feel when i was hungry, i couldn't feel anything. i could only blink. that's about it. i could blink. and i could breathe, but other then that, there was nothing left that i felt capable of doing.

i was miserable.

hey guys! so this chapter took a little bit of a turn, but i just wanted some more drama before i end the book hahaha. anyways, i love you guys and thank you for reading!