the one for me - benjey

part 21 - details.

benji's pov

as i'm making my occasional trip to the kitchen, i see jorge sitting at the kitchen table with puffy eyes. he's on his phone and doesn't notice me right away, but glances up when i open a cupboard.

i grab some snacks and decide on making a bagel. as the bagel is in the toaster, i say something. something that i'll probably regret, but something that i said.

"what happened?"

"what do you mean what happened?" jorge asked, standing up from the table.

"i mean, what happened. give me the details."

"benji no- that's only gonna make everything worse," he replied, standing on the other side of the island by now.

"i asked for the details which means i want the details now if you ever want me to get over this give me the details," i say sitting up on the counter.

"benji-" i give him a glare, and he takes it as a hint. "i was shopping, at the mall specifically, and the boy came up to me and started hitting on me. i told him i had a boyfriend but he said that he didn't care, and continued to hit on me. i don't know why i did it benji, i love you so much." he said, probably hoping to switch the subject.

"continue." i reply with tears forming in my eyes.

i hear him loudly sigh before continuing. "we went to lunch, and he bought me some food. we talked for hours. he seemed like a good person."

"what was his name?" i cut him off.

"benj-"

"what was his fucking name?"

"tyler."

"okay, thank you. now continue."

"benji this isn't gonna do any good."

"i said continue."

"he seemed like a nice person. we continued to hang out for a while until it was late. we didn't actually realize how late it was until we got outside and it was pitch black. he walked me out to my car, but i didn't want him having to drive all the way home because he lived pretty far. so in the heat of the moment, i invited him over, to stay the night."

"you let him sleep in our fucking house?" i blurted, rage running through my veins.

"benji i'm sorry," he nearly whispered.

i scoff.

"we got home and watched s movie together, in the living room. he was getting closer to me throughout the movie and started touching me. i was uncomfortable but i didn't tell him to stop..."

by this time, i was full on crying, but once again, not making any noise. i've gotten good at silent crying through this whole situation. i look at him, but he's just staring at the ground.

"then he kissed me."

i started to shake as my cries became audible. what has he done to me?

"benji i'll sto-"

"no i said i want all the details, so give them to me."

"benji please don't make me do this."

"you put me through pain and i want to know the details is that too much to ask?"

"it is why you're sitting on the counter, 15 feet away from me, sobbing, and not letting me comfort you!"

"i don't need your comfort, it'll probably be fake," i spit out.

"benji."

"just keep talking okay?"

"he kissed me, and i kissed back for whatever reason. i don't even know why, but i pulled away. i told him once again that i had a boyfriend and he just said, 'he doesn't have to find out' he then proceeded to kiss me again, but this time i didn't pull away, i let him kiss me. and i let him take me to bed."

"what bed?"

"our bed. benji i'm sorry."

"you had sex with someone else in my own fucking bed?!" i yell.

"i said i'm sorry."

"sorry isnt going to cut it this time jorge. you can continue."

"we had sex." he says and starts to walk away as if he's done talking.

"get back here."

"what? i have you details."

"you're not finished."

he looked at me dead in the eye, slowly realizing what i meant.

"benji you can't make me do that."

"yes i can. now keep talking."

a tear fell from jorge's eye but i don't really care at the moment. i asked for every detail, so i get to know every detail.

"benji. we had sex. i'm not going into detail. you know what happens, so you can decide what happened between tyler and me that night, but i'm not going to tell you everything because that isn't going to help. when i woke up in the morning i kicked him out. i've felt horrible ever since. please, benji. don't make me."

"whatever." i said, getting up, grabbing my snacks, but leaving my burnt bagel in the toaster.

i just needed to get away from him. so i went back to our bedroom. i really hated being in our bed now, but that's the only place i could be besides the floor. so i just stood there, staring at our bed, knowing what happened in it.

i hear a light knock on the door before it opened.

'shit i forgot to lock it' i think to myself.

jorge is standing in front of me, teary eyed, but nothing compared to the many tears falling down my face. we stared at each other. nothing more, nothing less. just stared. until jorge took one step, closing the gap between us, and wrapping his shorter arms around my body.

he was hugging me, which made me cry harder, might i add. i didn't hug back at first, until i couldn't hold back anymore and i wrapped my arms around the skinny boy. i cried into his shoulder, and i could feel myself soaking his shirt.

"benji i really am sorry, i love you so so much."

i only replied with more crying and soon enough, the hug was over. my arms fell down by my sides and jorge left the room. this time, i made sure i locked the door because i didn't want that happening again. i'm mad at him right now. he broke my heart and he doesn't get it back that easily.

i plopped down on the bed, not caring about anything anymore, and fell asleep.

hey guys! so next chapter might be happy? i'm not sure. but either way, it'll be up later tonight or tomorrow. love you guys!