the one for me - benjey

part 22 - marry me.

** (a week after last chapter)

benji's pov

i can't take it anymore. i can't take being in the same place as jorge without being able to love him. i can't see him sad everyday and know that all i would have to do is say i forgive him and it could all go back to normal. i still love him. i really do. it's been a week since we've actually talked, so i've had some time to think.

i'm either going to go back home and give myself some more time to think, and possibly move on. or i can just forgive jorge and put all of this in the past. i have no idea what to do.

i've been weighing the pros and cons for like 5 days now, and both just seem like it's gonna mess up everything. if i leave, i might never see him again. i might never be able to live out my life with the person i love.

but if i stay, i won't be able to trust jorge, and that's just going to make life so much more difficult. i'll feel horrible if i leave any where without him or if he goes somewhere without me, because i'll have no idea if he's deciding to sleep with another person!

and that just feels like jail. being kept up in our home 24/7 not being able to leave each other's side.

does that mean i've decided? i guess it has.

i start to pack up my stuff. throwing anything of mine that is see into random bags and boxes. i don't even take it all, only the things that are important to me.

i try my best to keep myself together while i'm doing this, but's it's hard. it's hard knowing that i'm leaving jorge and i might never see him again. or i might, in the far future.

he could be married to someone else. he could have a kids. he could have a family and be living out the life we've always wanted together, but with someone else, and all because i left. that's hard to know, but leaving is what's best for both of us, we just need some time apart.

**

ive successfully been able to load all of the boxes in my car without waking jorge, except one. i just want to be gone. i don't want to have to confront him. i don't need his sad eyes weighing me down as i walk out the door. but as if on cue, i hear the bedroom door open, and turn around to see a groggy jorge standing in the hallway, rubbing his eyes.

"benji what are you doing?" he asks as he notices the last box's in my arms, and me about to leave.

"leaving." i say simply.

"to where?"

"back home."

"but benji. this IS your home."

"no, jorge, it's not. i can't stand being here. treats not a home."

"why can't you stand it?"

"jorge i still love you that's why! i'll never stop! but you did something that broke me. i can't forgive you, at least not yet. and it hurts. i want to love you. i want to spend the rest of my life with you! i want to raise a family with you! but i don't trust you anymore. and i can't be in a relationship with no trust jorge! so i'm leaving until i decide to forgive you, if that happens, but i'm not making any promises. and unless you come up with some huge way to make it all up to me right here and right now, this is goodbye. i love you jorge garay. and i'll never stop. "

i regather my last box, and walk out the door but i'm soon stopped by jorge yelling my name.

"benji wait!" he calls out, running behind me.

"what?" i spin around, a bit annoyed.

jorge is only inches from me.

"marry me."

"what do you mean marry you?"

"this is how i'm making it up to you. you said you won't leave if i come up with some huge way to make it up to you, so i'm asking you to marry me benji krol. i'll never hurt you ever again, i promise. just please don't leave me. marry me and we can start our lives together! we can get jobs, get a big house, start a family together! you just have to say yes. so please, benji. marry me."

i do something that i never thought i would do. i drop my box and smash my lips into his.

hey guys! so this chapter was sad at the beginning but it has a happy ending! also i'm only writing one more chapterrrr. it's gonna be a chapter in the future of like what their lives are like and i'm gonna start writing in now because i have nothing else to do haha. so yeah, i'll also start writing a new book once this one is done! anyways, i love you guys!!!!!