Amnesia // Dimitri Belikov

VIII

"Don't forget me, I beg.
I remember you said,
sometimes it lasts in love,
but sometimes it hurts instead."
***

'Look at me, child,' an elderly woman told the little girl, 'this is the best for everyone.'

The little girl was trembling, fear evident in her eyes, 'What are you doing?'

The woman smiled, a smile that was supposed to be kind, but didn't come across as such. 'I'll take you somewhere safe, far away from these dangers. Your parents doomed you from the beginning and I want to right their wrongs.'

She hadn't understood a word of what the woman had told her, 'Where's my mom and dad?'

'Don't worry dear,' she spoke, her aged hand trailing the little girl's cheek, 'you won't remember them when I'm done.'

Rose gasped for breath as she woke up, her hand stroking the cheek on which she could still feel the woman's touch. She closed her eyes and tried to slow down her breathing patterns before getting out of bed. Her eyes shorting a quick look at the sink in her bathroom, but she quickly realised the cold water hadn't helped her at all.

Her guardian uniform was creased, but right now, she didn't care enough to change it. Within seconds she had her hair pulled up in a ponytail and she was jogging towards the gym.

Paul was standing there, dressed in his workout clothes, fidgeting with the ends of his sleeves. 'Auntie Roza!'

She smiled, 'I told you I'd keep my promise!'

'So, what are we going to do first? Sparring? Staking?'

A giggle left Rose's lips as she grabbed Paul's hand and dragged him inside the gym. The excitement in his eyes reminded her of her own, when she was still training to be a guardian. 'First you're going to run a couple of laps for me, after that we'll spar.'

'Really?' he asked, his eyes wide open.

'Yep, really,' she promised.

He ran off immediately and Rose watched, she would've ran with him, had it not been for the fact that she felt utterly dead inside. The nightmares and sleeplessness had been taking its toll on her and if she used all her energy now, on running, she'd put Lissa in danger once it was time for her shift.

The moment Paul had finished his laps, he ran towards her and tried to tackle her. But before he could even touch her, she'd grabbed his arm and gently flipped him on the mat. Her hand made into a loose fist, as if holding a stake, and laying it across his heart. 'Dead.'

Paul pouted, 'Am I that bad or are you that badass?'

Rose chuckled and grabbed his hand, pulling him back on his feet, 'Neither. I just have a lot more experience. One day, you'll be just like me. Or Dimitri.'

'Why did you lie to Natasha?'

Rose froze as she looked at him, 'Your uncle and I... our relationship was forbidden. He could get in a lot of trouble if people knew and I didn't want that.'

'But how are you going to be in a relationship if no one's allowed to know?'

Rose's heart shattered, her hands trembling as she fought against the tears. 'I'm sorry, Paul, but your uncle and I... are not together anymore.'

Shock spread over his features, 'Why not? Did uncle Dimka do something wrong?'

A tear rolled down Rose's cheek, 'No... no. He just-' another tear rolled down, 'he doesn't feel the same way anymore. He doesn't want to be together anymore.'

'Why not?'

Rose wiped the tears from her cheeks, 'Sometimes people fall out of love, it happens.'

'Did you fall out of love with uncle Dimka?'

'No,' she told him kindly, 'but I can't force him to love me. All I can do, is hope that he's happy. Because I love him and if he's happy, I'm happy.'

'Really?' Paul asked, raising his eyebrow.

'No, if he's happy without me, I'm probably really sad. But don't tell anyone I said that,' Rose told him, a weak smile on her lips.

'Okay. So all we can do is hope he's happy?'

'Yeah,' Rose answered, 'but I'm sure with you around, he's the happiest man in the world.'

***

'Uncle Dimka, are you happy?' Paul asked, in Russian, as the Belikova's were having their family dinner.

Dimitri froze and Karolina put her glass down so she could speak, 'Why do you ask that, Paul?'

'Because Roza said that all we could do was hope that he was happy,' he answered as he stuffed another potato in his mouth, 'if he's happy, Roza said, than she's happy too. Because she loves him and can't force Dimka to love him back.'

Karolina bit her lip, her eyes widening, 'She said that?'

'Yes, during training. She promised she'd train me, she said one day I'll be just as good as uncle Dimka.'

'That's nice of her,' Karolina told him as she took a sip from her glass.

'You didn't answer my question, uncle Dimka.'

Dimitri stared at his little nephew, how could he answer such a question in all honesty? No, he want happy, in fact he was miserable. He had sleepless nights because of all the terrible things he'd done as a Strigoi. The countless innocent lives he'd taken, the hurt he'd inflicted on the woman he loved most. He craved her presence, but feared it would lead to her destruction if he let himself to close. God knows she wouldn't let anything stop her, except the four terrible words he told her in the chapel. She would've been too selfless, to let anything amongst the truth "I don't trust myself anymore and I just don't want you to get hurt" stop her.

But how could he lie to his nephew, tell him that he was happy, when he was not? Honesty was after all, one of the most important things in family. He could hardly tell Paul that lying was wrong, while only telling lies to him.

'Dimka is very unhappy, but he is a fool, so he lies and says he doesn't love her,' Yeva answered.

Paul frowned, 'That doesn't make any sense. Roza says that love means that you want someone else to be happy. But if Dimka loves her, than why is he making her sad by telling her he doesn't?'

'Oh, is Roza sad about that, huh?' Viktoria asked, raising her eyebrow at Dimitri, rubbing it in deeper.

Paul's eyes widened, regret and guilt flooding his eyes, 'Oh. I promised Roza I wouldn't say that.'