happy to help (Kiribaku!! au) - (COMPLETED!)

day 9 pt 1

eijiro POV

my alarm goes off and i wake up to it. today is the 3rd year anniversary of when kokoro died.

i get dressed and head out. i'll be back in an hour or so. i walk outside and grab the flowers and the note i wrote her.

i make my way to the cemetery and it's about a 20 minute walk. i have my music playing.

i walk into the graveyard, i go to kokoro, i place the flowers near it as i kneel down. i pray to her grave that this is what she wanted, no matter how much it hurt me. i cry as i think what i want to say. i say it.

"hey kokoro, i don't know if you can hear me but, i hope this is what you wanted... your my little sister, although i don't think this is best, this is what you wanted. so i hope the best.

i love you and i miss you a lot kokoro..."

i open the letter i wrote for her and unfold it.

"dear kokoro,

i'm sorry i couldn't have helped you or noticed you throughout all this time of you still being alive. i miss you, i need you back.

your amazing, i hope this is what you wanted. i love you and i want to know, i know i ask of this ever year but do you see me or can you hear me? i want to know if i'm doing this for a reason, or if you watch over me everyday and this is no different... anyway, i love and miss you, koko...

love and kisses,

ei"

i start walking back to suki's house.

i listen to music.

i get back in bed

i dream about koko...

i wake up again around 3 am to the sound of crying being heard from the bathroom. i slowly get out of bed, not waking up suki and quietly knock on the door. i hear metal being dropped and my mind goes to the worst thought.

"hello...?" i ask worriedly. instead of a response, i hear the door click. i turn the door knob and find it unlocked. i open the door slowly, so no one wakes up and i find tsuki with his hands over his mouth, with blood retreating from his mouth.

"...tsuki..." i say this with concern but not panic. this has happened before. there's normally 3 reasons for why this happens. stress, being hurt, or he forgot to take his meds. "stress?" i ask in a soft tone. he shakes his head. "bullied?" i ask in the same tone. he shakes his head once again. i get up and grab his meds from the counter. i hand him 3 bottles and he points to the one on the left and the one on the right. i grab him 2 pills from one bottle,
3 from the other and a cup of water. i hand it to him and he takes them. i grab towels and wipe off the blood reciprocating from his mouth.

i pick up the razor and put it in my pocket. i sit down in front of him and grab his hand. i pick of bandages and start to wrap his wrist.

"why...?"
"the voices..."

incase you didn't know, tsuki is schizophrenic. he hears all these voices in his head and they don't come if he doesn't take his meds, but he forgot to.

"did they come in your dream?" he nods. i pull him into a hug.

he cries and cries and cries. he doesn't stop crying. he doesn't like the voices. he doesn't like what they say. the only way to get rid of them is doing what they say. but he won't give into their demands.

'kill yourself'
'you'll be better off dead'
'dead beat'

he gives into other demands.

'cut 'till you bleed'
'be quiet'
'cut cut cut'