MINE

Chapter 12

After leaving to put the phone back under Cole's pillow I returned to the bathroom. I might as well enjoy this shower. I'll probably have plenty more to take now that I won't be calling someone to save me.

Of course his phone has a password, why wouldn't it? What could it be? Numbers? Letters? A name? Date?

I shook my head not letting myself get too upset over this. If I had never found the phone I would be in the same position right now. I'll just pretend like I never found it. The warm water felt nice against my skin. It burned ever so slightly over my lips and collar bone where the cuts were. This was peaceful. I wasn't sure if I was allowed to take a shower, but what could be so bad about it? I'm sure it's fine.

For a second I was sure I was imaging  things. A mini Zac appeared on my right shoulder talking in my ear about helping him make Cole angry, when I was just about convinced a tiny Cole appeared on my left shoulder asking to help make him a better person, that he was tired of this life.

None of this was real, obviously. My mind was just torn on what to do. I just want to get out of this alive. What will help me do that?

I showered for a long time, the hot water had run out by the time I was done. I got dressed in the smallest t-shirt that I could find in the closet. It was Cole's. Along with a pair of boxers. I almost threw up thinking about wearing this clothes. But I also couldn't think about wearing my 2 day old dirty panties, and my pants were missing. What was I suppose to wear?

Leaving the bathroom hit me harder than expected. It was still freezing in this room, the absence of pants didn't help. I crawled back into bed with a still deep asleep Cole. It had been at least an hour since I woke up, when would he wake up?

I wondered what time it was. Should I wake him? My throat was dry, it craved water. I let out loud sigh laying back down in the bed. My body turned towards Cole. He still looked so different. I studied his face. It was smooth, pale, and still. If Cole and I had met in another way, a better way, I can just imagine how I just might feel about him. He had the potential to be a good guy, but no matter how good of a guy he becomes he'll always a monster to me.

Maybe after I get out of here he can run far away and try to live a good life. Maybe I won't turn him in, let him have a chance to live a better life.

What am I thinking? Of course I will turn him in. I looked away, now to the ceiling. I couldn't be thinking like this. I sat up again, leaning against the wall, watching him as he slept.

After what seemed like another hour, Cole finally rolled over.

"Cole?" I asked softly.

He rolled back to my direction.

"Mom?" He asked back in a half sleeping tone.

Mom? He had a mom? Of course he did. Idiot. I mean, he knew her? He loved her? I wondered more about his backstory.

"No." Is all I could say back. What was I suppose to say?

"Faith?" He asked softly once more.

Who was Faith? Now confused, I cleared my throat.

"No, it's Emily." I stated.

He stayed silent.

I put my arm on his shoulder, shaking him. He still wasn't awake fully.

"Cole!" I yelled, but not too loud for others to hear.

He shook his head, opening his eyes. He was awake now.

"Is everything okay?" He looked into my eyes.

"Yeah. It's just.." I couldn't say anything else.

What was it? What was my problem? He was sleeping for too long? He called me mom and Faith? Should I tell him about that?

"Just what?" His voice deep.

Cole sat up, rubbing his eyes.

"You were sleeping for a long time. I didn't know if I should wake you."

"Oh." He simply told me.

"What time is it?" I asked curious if he would reveal to me that he had a phone.

"Um.." He looked around the room.

What was he looking for? A clock?

"I know you have a phone." I blurted. I covered my mouth immediately after.

"What?" His head snapped to me.

"I...heard it vibrate." I half lied not telling him that I also tried to use the phone.

"Oh." He said more calm now.

Cole grabbed for the phone under his pillow.

"It's 11:30." He told me.

"That's late." I said looking down.

"I didn't sleep until 5 or 6, I think." He shook his head as if he couldn't remember.

"Why?" My throat choked up as I was reminded of my missing pants. What was he doing to make him stay awake?

"I was making sure you weren't going to have a nightmare...." he trailed off.

"What?" I tilted my head.

"I was making sure you weren't going to have a nightmare." He said again.

"Yeah...I heard that. I mean..why?" I turned towards him.

He looked straight at me, he stayed silent. It was almost a sweet thing to hear, that he stayed up to make sure I didn't have a nightmare, but also creepy. Why did he care so much?

"Who is Faith?" I asked while having his attention.

He seemed visibly confused and upset by this question.

"How do you-" I cut him off.

"You said her name while you were still half sleeping." I said probably too quickly.

He stood up.

"Hey, where are you going?" I asked also standing up.

He laughed. "Are you wearing my clothes?" I looked down at myself.

"I took a shower. I don't have clothes. My pants are missing." I defended myself.

He continued to laugh. "Yeah, I put them in the wash."

"You took them off of me?" I asked.

"Yeah, I didn't do anything though. I'm not...I don't...do that stuff." He looked away, giving an almost disgusted face.

"But you admit you do other stuff? Other horrible things?"

"It's too early for this." He shook his head.

"Actually it's 11:30." I smarted back to him.

He scoffed not saying anything trying to look angry, but I could sense a smirk wanting to appear.

"Cole?" I could hardly get his name out.

"What?" He asked, more interested in what I had to say.

I didn't know how to say what I wanted. There was apart of me that wanted to tell him about what Zac offered and did to me, but there was another part that was afraid he would flip and turn back into exactly what Zac wants.

He noticed my silence, sitting back down on the bed. I followed his actions.

"You don't have to be scared of me, Emily." He said avoiding eye contact.

Cole stood up and walked to the door of the room readying himself to leave. He stopped, turning back towards me, keeping his hand on the door knob.

"I'm not...who you think I am. I'm not what  you think I am." He looked into my eyes for a long period of time, not breaking the moment.

What did he mean? He's not who I think he is? Who do I think he is? He's not what  I think he is? What do I think he is? I confused myself thinking too hard about the comments.

I think Cole is a monster. I think Cole is a kidnapper. A horrible human being for what he is taking part in by keeping girls here against their will.

"And what's that? Who or what do I think you are?" I asked intriguing him more.

"A bad guy." He let go of the door knob.

"You're not?" I questioned.

"No." He dropped his head.

"How's that?" I had to bit my tongue from letting go of my smart remarks that floated around my brain.

"I didn't choose this life."

"Let me guess...it chose you?" I laughed. His head shot up to meet my eyes again.

"Yes."

"It's not too late to turn it around." I stood up, hoping to catch a glimpse of hope in his eyes. I need to see for myself if Cole was wanting to be a good guy. Zac was afraid of it, I was wishing for it.

Hope did not fill the emptiness I saw in him, sorrow did.

"Yes, it is." He sighed, turning around and leaving the room.

I was left to dwell in my thoughts. I saw no flicker of hope in him. Maybe he wasn't becoming a good person, or wanting to become one. Maybe he was just depressed. Maybe I needed to turn my attention to Zac's plan. Maybe there was no hope for Cole.