I'll Never Be That Girl

Chapter 23

Huh

Huhh

Huuhh!!

"Ruth! How much tighter can this get? Any tighter and I just might vomit my intestines out."

The sympathy I so hopefully tried to get was simply dismissed when all I got was a hard slap on the back.

"Oh shut up Liz. You've been complaining for the past 30 dresses."

"Exactly! I've been doing this for eternity. Let's stop this madness. It's not like it matters if I like my wedding dress or not."

My words seemed to only earn me another slap. Only much harder this time.

"Fine but you seriously need to stop with the slapping."

I can't help but to rub the spot that was starting to redden on my skin.

"You need to take this more seriously Liz. It's not just some type of game that you can quit whenever you're bored with it."

Her dejected sigh actually made me feel bad for a millisecond. Those feelings were swiftly gone as I tried hard to not give into my emotions. Although that's exactly why I was in this mess.

"I don't see this as real marriage Ruth. Besides, it's not like we're going to live like a real couple. You know how impossible that is. I'll just let him live his life and I'll live mine."

There's no use in having those close to me believe that this was more than a marriage of convenience. Especially Ruth.

"You're saying that now but you might not feel the same after marrying him."

Her hands slowly came to a halt from lacing up my dress.

"What exactly are you trying to get at? We were both apart for 10 years but clearly nothing has changed. Judging from recent events he made it very clear that it's staying that way for a long time."

She retrieved her hands to her side and made her way out of the room but stopped before shutting the door completely.

"I'm just saying Lizzy. Plus, it's not like you've given him any chance to actually make a change."

This conversation was one I never imagined to have with her. What happened to my Ruth? Having her disagree with how I was feeling about Christian was an unfamiliar talk.

I stood there dumbfounded in front of the mirrors. The three mirrors grandly stuck side by side reflecting the dress I was wearing. I tried forcing myself to feel what any expected soon to be bride felt when she's in her wedding gown.

Instead I was left all lost.

Everything was just so overwhelming. The thought of never being able to experience the giddiness of being a real bride. Marrying a man who not only has no feelings for me but rather hates me.

Somewhere deep inside, I know that a part of me was hurt at his lack of effort to try harder in amending our relationship. If there was even one to begin with. His agreement to go forward with the marriage is still a wonder to me.

1 Month ago

"What?!"

Christian's loud dominating voice bellowed making me jump back slightly from Mr Fairfax.

How insensitive can he be? His father was in a fragile state and he's shouting at the top of his lungs. His fuming anger radiated as he got up and walked into the darkness of the garden.

As everyone else assisted Mr Fairfax recompose himself and helped him back on his seat I couldn't take my attention off Christian. He looked furious but believe me if he was furious then I was simply livid.