House MD

I promise

I rushed through the dusty air to a little girl, no older than 4 or 5 sitting on a fallen wall from a building.

"Hi sweety, would you be able to tell me your name please?" I asked her, she most likely had no idea what was going on as she was playing with her hair and looking around.

"It's Lena" she said to me

"Well my name is doctor King. Could you follow my finger with your eyes please"

She did her best to follow my finger but had trouble. I turned to the EMT.

"Probably a scull fracture, get her back to the hospital before she starts bleeding out her ears" I said picking the girl up and handing her to him.

"KING, WE NEED YOU OVER HERE" I turned around and saw Foreman calling me, I ran over and saw a young woman under the fallen crane. Her torso was out but one of her legs was stuck underneath.

"She is stuck, we may need to amputate before the toxins spread" Said Foreman

"WHAT, YOU CANT CUT OFF MY LEG. ITS MY LEG!"

"Ma'am were going to try to lift this crane off you but we only have a matter of time" I said

"Why do you only have a matter of time?" She asked

"Because if your muscle is cut off from oxygen for too long it starts to die, dead muscle starts to release toxins which spread throughout your body. These toxins kill you once their in your bloodstream."

"But it's my leg" she said, a tear streamed down her face. This woman was no older than 30 and had to loose her leg because some construction workers forgot to tighten the screws on the crane. She looked scared and helpless, I would as well. I felt terrible but there was nothing I could do. I knelt down next to her and held her hand.

"I promise I will do everything I can possibly do to let you keep your leg" I said. She grabbed my hand tighter and started crying.

"You promise?" She whispered

"I promise" I said gripping her hand tighter

We waited for a while in attempt go get the crane off of this woman, Hannah. On our fifth try to remove the crane the fallen debris made her lung collapse. I was able to re inflate it but I knew that we needed to cut off the leg. Foreman pulled me aside and we discussed what was going on.

"King, no more stalling. We need to do the amputation"

"Don't you get it! This isn't even an amputation, were just taking a bone saw and cutting off her leg. This is agonizing torture not humane amputation!" I said

"You know what we have to do" he said. I did know and I realized that I've been stalling this whole time. We needed to remove the leg.

"Fine"

I walked over to her, she was probably expecting good news because I promised her that I would do everything I could. I did but I guess it just wasn't enough.

"Hannah I'm so sorry but we need to remove the leg" I said to her

She broke down crying, I don't blame her.

"You said we had time" she said between sobs

"We had time but now it's up, this is the only option we have"

"I won't let you do it. This is my leg!"

I looked her in the eyes

"It's just a leg" I said to her

"But, I have a husband and kids. I'm going to be a cripple"

"I'm sure they rather you be a cripple than dead" I said

She thought for a moment, an extremely long one. It was agonizing what Hannah was going through right now.

"Fine, I'll do it" she said through tears

"Okay" I smiled weakly, this was her only chance of survival and I'm glad she took it.

"This is going to hurt like hell isn't it?" She asked me though she already knew the answer. I contemplated lying to her for a second but ultimately decided she needed to know the truth.

I nodded my head.
"First we need to get through the layers of skin, then the muscle but when we get to the bone the skin and muscle will be nothing in comparison." I said, shit why did I have to say it so harshly?

Foreman handed me the bone saw, we were using that to get though the layers of skin as well, it would be much faster and efficient.

"Okay Hannah, I'm going to make the cut now" I said

She squinted her eyes shut and prepared herself for the pain. I lowered the saw to her leg, I started to make the cut red blood was getting everywhere.

"AHHHHH" Hannah screamed in pain, it was so loud I was sure China could hear us.

"I'm so sorry, I'm going as fast as I can"

She was screaming in agonizing pain, I was almost through the muscle.

"Okay Hannah I'm going to cut through the bone now"

She didn't really respond, just weakly nodded while continuing her screaming. I made it through the bone and finished off the leg. I looked down and realized all that has happened in the past few hours. I just cut off this woman's leg. The EMT's picked her up and put her on the stretcher. I followed them into the ambulance. I needed to go with them to make sure nothing went wrong in the ambulance. I hopped in next to her bed. She was still screaming in pain so I injected her with something to take the edge off. She calmed down but was clearly still in pain.

"Hannah, we'll be there soon and get you into surgery. You're going to be just fine" I said with a reassuring smile even if it was weak.

"Thank goodn-" she suddenly stopped. She looked like she was choking. She was, did her lung collapse again?

I sprung into action and got a needle, I put it in her chest and pulled, nothing happened.

It's not a collapsed lung maybe a clot? I grabbed a syringe of blood a thinner. I injected her vein. It didn't work.

Fuck! What do I do now? This woman is choking and I don't know why. Her BP was plummeting and her heart rate the same. I looked around and then realized...

It was a fat embolism.

There's nothing I could do.

Hannah is going to die.

Right on this table.

Miles away from friends and family with a doctor she doesn't even know.

She only has about 30 seconds left on this earth. Suffocating she grasped my wrist.

"Please help!" She said while fighting for each breath

I grabbed a syringe of morphine, this would kill her instantly and stop the suffering. I injected her thigh.

Her eyes fluttered closed and the heart monitor beeped with no stop.
We arrived at the hospital and I stepped out. I walked to my locker and started crying, just letting it all out. I went home and went to sleep, thinking about Hannah and anything I could have done differently but there was nothing it's not like I could do anything about a fat embolism. For some strange reason I felt like if I had done something different she could have lived.
Maybe that's true?