Life isn't black and white. It's a million gray areas, don't you find?
Ridley Scott
It is cold outside, and I realise that I probably should have put on another coat over these robes which I wore to the Ceremony earlier, but I am too flustered to think about trivial things like the temperature. Tobias Eaton wants to speak to me, alone.
The night air lifts and whips a little, a wind too strong to be classfied as a breeze, and rain begins to spit down in little droplets. Tobias walks further and further down the bland garden, away from my house and away from the only light illuminating us that shines above the back door. Instinct says I should not follow him, but of course, I do.
This far away from my home, I cannot make out the shape of the grey door, and I'm not sure that if my mother calls for me, I will hear her. This is what Tobias wants, I assume - privacy, seclusion.
"Are you Abengation?" he asks suddenly, lowly, his hands buried deep in his pockets and his back turned to me. There is probably a deeper meaning to his question, but dumbfounded, I reply with the most obvious answer I can conjure:
"I'm wearing grey, aren't I?" I make a small noise that is meant to resemble laughter, but the humour dies in my throat as Tobias turns to face me, his eyes deadly serious. There is no room for laughter here.
"Are you selfish, Tris Prior?" he asks, and I feel as if the question is retorical, as if those navy blue eyes have already seen into my selfish soul and exposed the part of me I have tried to keep secret for so long. He shouldn't ask questions like this, but I love it. My heart pounds at the danger and intensity of this interrogation, and he asks all the questions I wish I had the courage to ask. "Do you believe in our government? Is it corrupt? Do you put your faction before your blood, your own thoughts, your own emotions?"
He doesn't want answers anymore, but I know now that he has seen my true self. Those looks across the dinner table, the were not accusatory, but questioning. He has me all figured out, and we have only ever spoken once. These rebellious, unyielding questions prove to me now that he did not return to Abnegation by choice - or even leave by choice, for that matter. His fleeing to Dauntless was a way of escape. He is still reeling off questions, getting more and more intense, when I cut him off, quietly saying:
"Are you selfish, Tobias Eaton?"
He holds my gaze for a moment, and now I can tell that I was right. I am selfish, but it is not a crime. We are both selfish. We could be in a lot of trouble if we don't keep our mouths shuts. But we don't want to anymore, and that shouldn't result in fleeing our homes.
Tobias holds out his hand, a gesture that other factions use as a greeting, but government officials use to signify the signing of a new deal. It's ironic he uses this gesture, for really, we have just met, and really, we don't believe in the government.
"Yes, Tris. I am selfish," he smiles, and I don't think my shiver is a result of the cool night air. "Be selfish with me?"
SIlently, I take his hand, and shake it, mirroring his smile.
YOU ARE READING
Divergent: Before We Chose
Fanfiction"I realize that if we had both chosen differently, we might have ended up doing the same thing, in a safer place, in gray clothes instead of black ones." What if Tobias and Tris hadn't met each other in Dauntless? What if fate won over chance, and t...
