Bipolar Disorder(Toxic)/XXXTENTACION

Chapter 17.

•(Jalena's Point Of View)•

I had woken up on Jahseh's bedroom floor completely in pain. Again. It wasn't worst like last time though, thank the man above. I got up and went into his bedroom and stood in front the mirror.

I don't even see myself in the mirror anymore. I see a girl who will risk her whole life for a guy who is ill, a girl who been beaten before, a girl who is so dumb for staying after the first beaten. But a girl who will risk anything for someone she loves. Bruised lips, swollen cheeks, dry blood stains and black&blue marks. I wanna go home but what is home gonna do for me? My brother is just gonna yell at me and gonna want to hurt Jahseh. I heard footsteps approaching my way.

There he is, Jahseh standing right behind me. Nothing but guilt all over his face.

"Lena can we talk? Please?" He asked.

"No, no more talking I'm done" I said then I walked out the bathroom. He of course followed me. "Wait so your leaving?" He asked. No shit. "Yes! I wanna go home!" I shouted. He then grabbed my hand and pull me closer. "Your not leaving, let me make it up to you" He said. I pulled my arm away from him and pushed him away from him. "Make it up to me just to torture me again!? Yeah okay" I said. I grabbed my stuff and was about to head out. "Your not leaving! If you leave it shows how much you love me!" He shouted. I stopped and turn around. "Did you take your medication?" I asked. Jahseh never acts like this. "No! Imma go take it but please just sit okay?" He said then he went into his bedroom. I sighed and took a seat.

As I'm sitting down in silence I remembered a little bit of last night. X told me something about some girl name Geneva and how Jahseh wants her and deserves her. Jahseh came back out drinking a bottle of water then he took a seat next to me. "Who's Geneva?" I asked. He started laughing like I was playing around with him. "My crazy ass ex, why?" He asked. I rolled my eyes and sighed. "Well X said you deserve her and you want her" I said. Jahseh rolled his eyes and came closer to me. "Lena I love you okay? I can careless about any other female, especially my crazy ass ex" he said with his arms around me. "Ok" I said.

I still decided to head home while Jahseh and his friends work on some serious stuff.

At Jalena's House.

As soon as I head inside my brother rushed up to me. "Remember Aunty Laura's Fashion studio? And her fashion model week that's coming up?" He asked me. I'm honestly to tired and pissed to even talk about this so I just laid down on the couch.

"Yes, what about it?" I asked while sighing. He lift me up and started running around with me. "Jahmir! Stop! Put me down!" I shouted. He just kept running and laughing. "She what's you to design clothes for her and model!" He shouted.

Fun fact about me, I'm really into modeling, fashion, and designing clothes. I use to do that a lot when I was little. My mom would always take pictures of me so I got really into it. "No way! Oh my god!" I shouted. He put me down and we both were so hype. "I'm so proud of you little sis" he said hugging me. I smiled then head upstairs to shower and change into something else. Oh by the way, I covered myself in makeup so my brother wouldn't see any of the bruises and cuts.

After I took a shower I Again covered myself in make up and then head downstairs. "I'm going to Aunt Laura's studio to talk to her, I'll see you later!" I shouted then I left.
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•(Jahseh's Point Of View)•

The boys and I were just chilling in the house being dumb. I couldn't really enjoy myself cause Jalena was on my mind. I'm toxic for her and yet she still loves me. It's like she wants to leave though but I keep pulling her back and X just keeps hurting and hurting her. I decided to just call her and see how she doing.

On the phone:
Jalena: Hello?

Jahseh: Hey Babe, wyd?

Jalena: On My way to my aunts studio! I'm so excited I'll definitely tell you about it when I see you. Wyd? You okay?

Jahseh: Yea you sound so happy that's good and I'm just chilling with the boys. Well you go and do what you gotta do I'll see you later okay? Might take you out or something, I love you.

Jalena: Okay, I love you too.
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She sounds so happy and it's like she's not even mad at me, she doesn't even have the time for that right now. I leave for tour in 4 days so I want to spend time with her as much cause she might not want to come, she's very uncomfortable around me sometimes and I don't blame her.

"Im sorry for hurting her but she's just bad news! And a bitch! Geneva was never like that!" X shouted. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. My therapist told me that helps which it kinda does. Geneva was my first Love but she fucked up really bad so I have to get over her and focus on Jalena cause I honestly love her, I just wish this stupid disorder would go away.

"Yo bro, you good?" Stokeley asked taking a seat next to me. I decided to tell Stokeley how I felt and he actually helps a lot. "Just keep taking your meds, stay healthy, positive and keep seeing therapy. You'll get through this vro, Lena and I will stood right by your side" Stokeley said.

"Thanks vro".