Bipolar Disorder(Toxic)/XXXTENTACION

Chapter 5.

•(Jalena's Point Of View)•

Jahseh laid me down on his bed and smirked at me. I honestly had mixed emotions running through my head. I wanted this, but at the same time it's a bad idea. It's a bad idea because he specially told me not to catch feelings so I'm trying not to. Also, it's not even him. I mean it's him but it's not him. It's Youngdagger....the freaky one.

"Wait Jahseh, we shouldn't" I said pushing him off of me. He wouldn't get off. He just kept trying to do things. "Jahseh stop" I said.

"Shh, Jahseh not here right now" he said. He started kissing my neck and making his way up to my lips till I pushed him off. He looked at me like he was confused. "What happen princess?" He asked.

"Can you um bring back Jahseh? Please?" I asked. He looked at me and smiled. "Why? Don't you want to do things? With me?" He asked. "What's the difference?" I asked. Honestly though, what's the difference? They're all the damn same one person.

He began walking up to me. He wrapped his arms around my waist and looked at me directly in the eyes causing me to fall for him. "Jahseh's boring, I'm fun and can please you" He said smiling at me.

His eyes were so freaking red and he just looked so different. I let myself out of his arms and walked out the room. I'm just so confused and I think it's best for me to just go home.

I walk into the kitchen to get my bag. I see ski sitting down eating Jahseh's hot pocket. I wanted to talk to Ski and get to know him because he's honestly a cool person.

"Hey" I said standing by him. He looked at me and smiled. "Wassup? You good Ma?" He asked. I took a seat next to him and faced my body his way. "Nothing much" I said softly. He looked at me with an confused face expression. "You okay?" He asked.

"Well youngdagger is out" I said. He looked down at his pants and then looked back at me. "Huh?" He asked. I rolled my eyes and sighed. "Boy I'm talking about Jahseh, not you" I said. "Oh shit, you mean youngdagger is out and Jahseh isn't? Yeah youngdagger comes out whenever he sees a cute female" Ski said. "I don't get it though, so where does Jahseh go if that's his body?" I asked. Ski shrugged his shoulder. I wish I understood this.

"You really like Jahseh don't you?" Ski asked. "I'm not suppose to, according to him" I said. Ski bought me a soda from out the fridge and took a seat. "Thank you" I said. "No problem, and maybe he's doing the right thing, he doesn't want you to get hurt" Ski said. I thought about it.

I would like to be with Jahseh but what if he is actually protecting me? Like what if something happens? What if X comes out and hurts me badly? What if youngdagger can't handle himself and forces himself onto me? I wouldn't let them get in the way of me and Jahseh but if that's what he wants then I'll have to respect that.

I don't care if he has a disorder, I'll do anything to be with him and I'll take good care of him but I can't force someone to be with me.

"So, what do you do?" Ski asked me. "Write and dance, you know, basic shit" I said. "You know....I low key want another hot pocket" Ski said laughing. I seriously think there's something wrong with each of these boys.

Jahseh walked out the room and his eyes were normal. "Okay why was I in the room? Wasn't we sitting out here talking?" He asked me. I sighed and got down from the chair. "Youngdagger came out" I said. He looked at me like he felt bad. "I'm sorry" he said. "For what?" I asked. "Well imma go smoke a big fat blunt while I take a shit and I'll leave you two to talk" Ski said then he walked out the kitchen. Me and Jahseh both looked confused.

"I'm sorry that you have to deal with this" Jahseh said. I hate when he apologizes for something that isn't his fault. "Jahseh it's not your fault" I said. He looked at me and it looked like he really feels bad. "What did he do to you?" He asked. "Well you laid me on the bed and started kissing my neck and lips then you tried taking off my clothes and when we got up from the bed you wrapped your arms around my waist, but I walked out" I explained.

Outta nowhere Jahseh started hitting himself and whispering things like "why would you do that?" "You could've controlled yourself" and "I hate you". Seeing that breaks my heart. I grabbed his arm away from his face and he looked at me.

"Please stop hitting yourself, here take a seat" I said. He took a seat and looked at me. "I'm really sorry" he said. He grabbed my hands and kissed them. Again I'm confused. "Uh it's okay, imma just go home and um I'll call you later okay?" I said.

"Wait, me and they boys going to a club tonight, can you come with us?" He asked. "What kind of club?" I asked. "Strip club for Coolie's birthday and you have to come, your one of my friends now" he said. I wanna be more than friends so it kinda burns hearing him say that I'm his friend. "Yea I'll go" I said. He smiled and hugged me. "We finna get lit tonight" he said.

Ski walked out the bathroom and smiled at me. I smiled back at him cause I felt like if I didn't that would be mean. I feel like Ski has a little crush on me. I mean he's cute, funny and sweet but I don't know.

"Can we stop by my house real quick? I wanna change into something more nicer than this" I said. "Yeah of course" Jahseh said. He decided to take me to my house a little earlier before we head to the club.

At Jalena's House.
"Ight, take a seat and imma go change" I said. I head upstairs and put on some cute ass clothes.
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•(Jahseh's Point Of View)•

I was sitting on the couch waiting for Jalena to get dressed. Her house is nice, pretty big. He brother walked downstairs and looked at me. "What are you doing here?" He asked me. "Oh I'm waiting for Jalena, we're going out tonight" I said.

"Hmmm, Ight make you take care of my sister" he said. "I will" I said. I was starting to catch feelings for her but I can't be with her. I'm scared X might come out and hurt her badly or youngdagger might force himself onto her. Jalena's a sweet beautiful girl with a fun side of her, I don't wanna hurt that person. So it's best if we stay as friends.

Jalena walked downstairs and she looked hella good. I would grab her and kiss the shit outta her but I can't do that. "I'm ready" she said. We walked out and head back inside the car. It's gonna be me, Jalena, Ski and coolie in my car and Craig, Tankhead, Kidtrunks And Wifisfuneral In Craig car.