The Alliance Archive

I Guess You Won't Be Needing This Anymore....

A short letter to the readers,

HI GUYS!!!!!!!!! IT'S JENE HERE AND THE PARTY IS GOING TO START RIGHT NOW AND STUFF OR WHATEVER!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so excited! rarely ever do we have these heartwarming little guest chapters! It makes me want to puke! A hypothetical kind of puke, though. A good puke. (because how often do we have one of those? Good pukes are something a lucky man has only once in a lifetime. Let those with good pukes be blessed!) Anyhow, I've probably grossed you all out now. This makes me happy. 

So I hope you enjoy this chapter! Also, my page here on wattpad is LANDSQUID! So go ahead and read my stories! 'Randomness' is good! It's weird, like me! I also do all of the covers for TCF and TAA and any Stella&Birch story. I also did the preveiw for TCF (coming soon!!!).

Excuse the commercials. I'm ashamed of myself for taking advantage of my freedom on this chapter. I hope y'all love it. :D

PEACE FREAKS!!!!

~Jene

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I sniffed, bored out of my mind as I drug a pencil loosely over a thick piece of paper. The object of my musing was Artemis himself, and a menagerie of his friendly fiends. I watched as the image took shape; Artemis hand in hand with his devilish little brothers, Beckett and Myles. He and Myles wore their classic suits, sunglassess and loafers (Myles casually wearing a sheriff star), while Beckett jumped excitedly in a fullblown cowboy outfit. Butler stood guard behind while dramatically pulling off a Stetson, and a strand of freshly cut wheat poked jauntily between his lips. Juliet and 'Herself The Elf' (Holly) skipped happily behind them, ecstatic smiles on their faces. Juliet wore designer jeans and a hip babydoll belly top, while Holly kept it simple. 

I smiled. As it turns out, you don't have to spend a fortune to draw expensive clothes. It costs as much to draw the crown jewels as it does to sketch a common street rat!

A loud, fuzzy voice buzzed on the overhead speakers in rapid gnomish. I barely understood any of it, which I found annoying. There's nothing like being stuck on a crowded shuttle heading for haven. The noise of restless passengers is almost overwhelming! "Why did we have to take this cruddy tour bus down here?" I asked, banging my head against the headrest.

Artemis tapped the side of his sunglassess. "It's the fastest way we could get down here on short notice. Don't worry, though. The rest of the trip after this is specially escorted by the LEP."

I smiled. "Police escorts? Cool."

Syd nudged my arm. I could tell I was TOTALLY embarassing her, so I kept at it. "Say, does Haven have any sh'mancy art equiptment stores? And are all these fairy-people roaming about wearing flowers for clothes?"

Of course I knew the truth to such notions, but there was nothing better than messing with your twin sister. Liz giggled, and Syd started to protest like I was the stupidest person under the world. I held up a finger. "Ah."

She stopped, and I gave her a chocolate bar.

"Good syd-toes." I said, using an embarrassing nickname she had been given as a baby, when our parents had found her in her crib chewing on her feet.

I patted her head and she groaned, covering her ears and giving me the silent treatment.

"Well, then." I murmered to myself, fully aware that everyone on the noisy shuttle had eyed me curiously once or twice.

Artemis cleared his throat awkwardly. "Moving on."

He pointed to us. "Once we get to Police Plaza, Foaly will be waiting for us. We're going to be briefed on the rescue of Butler."

I wiggled my eyebrows. "Oo. Sounds like we're doing some 'Secret Spy Mission Kim Possible.'" 

Artemis' forhead crinkled. 

Liz cleared her throat. "Jene, I think you mean Mission Impossible."

"Oh. Right-o."

I turned back to Artemis. 

"So basically, there is no plan."

Artemis hung his head. "No."

I smacked my lips a couple of times. "And Foaly?"

Artemis nudged his sunglassess. "No."

I looked to the ceiling. "So WHAT are we doing?"

My companions didn't have an answer.

"Okay, this is going nowhere." I turned to a nearby gnome and plucked a magazine out of his chubby hands. "Guess you wont be needing this anymore."

I turned back to my seat and began to read an article about Aibreann Aoife, a popular fairy television star for the hit Atlantis drama, 'Gill's Anatomy'.

Syd looked over my shoulder.

"Ay-bree-an O-if-y?" She mused, pronouncing the name as best she could.

Artemis sniffed, barely looking up as he read his novel. "It's pronounced A-brawn Ee-fa. Aibreann means 'april', and Aoife means 'beautiful' or 'joyful'." He wiped his nose with a tissue. "Aoife was the third most popular girls name for babies in Ireland in 2003."

This was going to be a long ride.

Although we didn't know it at the time, that very same moment, some 1100 km away from our current location, Aibreann Aoife clicked her studded, scarlet heels down a sanitized white hallway in Opal Koboi's sealab. She rounded the corner with purpose, her plump pink lips pursed with determination as she tossed her glossy ginger hair, nearly taking out one of the useless jumbo pixies that Opal kept as guards. Her eyes locked onto a heavy titanium door. The prisoners' cell. smiling, she rapped loudly on the door with her knuckles. "Hey," She shouted through the cell bars. "Opal looked through the kitchen. It turns out there was still some carrots, about to turn. It seems a waste to throw them out now..."

She listened carefully, eager to hear some sounds of suffering coming from the cell.

But it was silent.

"Hey!" She rapped harder. "Are you listening to me?!"

Still nothing.

Frustaurated, she keyed in the entry code on a side panel next to the door. A buzzer sounded, indicating that the locks were undone. Furious, Aibreann threw open the door, flinging the tray of rotting carrots into the cell with a clang. 

"Now! I wa-"

She stopped, her eyes wide with horrer. The Prisoners were gone.

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that's all she wrote, folks! I hope you love it!

And don't forget to check out the new Collaboration Files book trailer, filmed and edited by me!

You can find it at:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8zZwr4Tv3-0&feature=youtu.be

Till next time,

~Jeneveive