N E R V E

one

ding.

welcome back, venus breaux

i quickly typed my password into my laptop. once i was signed in, the picture of me, my mom, and my brother as my wallpaper popped up. i immediately clicked on spotify, playing a random song on my playlist, clicking safari afterwards.

i went straight to my email once safari opened. i saw an email from cal arts.

a while back i had applied to cal arts for college. i was graduating in just a couple of months so why not start somewhere right?

i didn't want to live in staten island anymore, new york just felt like it wasn't for me anymore.

i mean, i felt like i was acceptable for this school, i loved being a photographer, i had a good eye. not to brag or anything.

cal arts was a very great school, but it was also very expensive, great right?

i clicked on the email from cal arts...

dear venus,

congratulations again! this is a reminder that your reply is due tomorrow. this could be the first day of the rest of your life. click ACCEPT and join the class of 2020!

sincerely,
chet evans, ph. d
interim deputy director

i moved the cursor to the CLICK HERE TO ACCEPT icon on the page. i then moved the cursor to the reply button, clicking on it.

i bit my nails nervously as i figured out what to say, did i want to risk all the money for this school?

i put my fingers on the keyboard, ready to type what i had in mind.

to whom it may concern,
i regret to inform the admission board that i must decline

then i stopped typing, i glanced at the my mom in the picture for my background, she didn't know i wanted to go to this school still. i began typing again...

to whom it may concern,
i regret to inform the admission board that i must decline because i'm a spineless loser and i'm too scared to tell my mom the truth which is that i want to move out and leave staten island forevermskwoqlooappqkaksozoaoa

"ugh." i said out loud. i rubbed my temples in frustration.

ding.

facebook
anthony bae tagged you in a post.

i clicked on the notification quickly, it opened a picture of my crush, anthony bae.

he was probably the cutest boy in school. no, scratch that, he is the cutest boy in school, the way he moved his hair back, his charming smile, everything about him was perfect. and he was on the football team, but i never had the guts to talk to him.

anthony bae
go tigers, pep rally today. thanks for the photo vee breaux

i smiled at his post, i couldn't get over the fact that he had tagged me in his photo. before i could even like his post, jennie started to call me, my best friend.