Being Human

16. it hurts but not really

Shiro pov

I walked away from her apartment as I felt like my heart finally, shattered. I really thought we could fix this. I thought if we talked and did better then we could be together again. No. She went and found someone new. I get that Allura is older then me but could you blame me for falling for someone so beautiful? It reminded me of Adam. My dear close friend. I bit my bottom lip as I thought about it more. He wasnt just a friend he was more than that. He was my lover. Way before I turned. Adam was the only person who understood me. I was scared when I knew I liked both but I preferred men over women. Back then it was a sin to even be with a man. Now it's normal well for occasional comments from people who doesnt support.

Whenever I feel like this I always crave to see adam but he's long gone in the past. If never left his home that night I wouldn't be at war and getting turned. I groan as I make it home but as I do I freeze and turn around to find Lance. "Whoa! It's just me!" I sigh. "Sorry. Keith isnt here right now." He nods. "I know. I'm here to see you." I raised a brow as we entered the house. "Why are you here to see me?" He smirks. "You don't like me. I can feel it shiro."  I gasp a bit. "What? No that's not true." He tilts his head. "Shiro? Please be honest." He asked. "Fine. Lance I don't trust you with Keith. Witches I've come into contact with either want blood or create. When Keith told us you used him for blood I wanted to kill you." Lance lowered his head.

"I know I hated myself since then. Shiro I promised Keith I wouldn't do any harm to him. He knows I love him too much to lose him. He made me change from the horrible person I had become." I nodded as he continued. "I know you don't trust me but please give me a chance. I don't want you to hate me because I'm with Keith. Also I don't want to stop seeing him since we're mates." My eyes widen but it wasnt a surprise since keith told me and Pidge Already. "If you don't let us see each other keith may die of heartbreak." That I didnt know. "What do you mean?" "Werewolves mates for life. If their mate dies the wolf would be in pain and would go mad and finally die of heartbreak. There are some cases that the wolf goes and finds someone new but only if the wolf has the need to." I nod. I really hope Lance doesnt die cause I could already see Keith going after the person who even touched or harmed him.

"So shiro. I hope you can trust me." I sigh. "Lance it's going to take some time but I'll warm up to you." I gave a warm smile as he did as well. "You look hurt." I shook my head. "I'm fine." He came close as he looks into my eyes. "You crave someone who is longer around." He moved back. "Do you have a belonging to that person?" I gave an odd look. "Why?" He smirks. "I now a spell that could possibly help." I shook my head. "No. I don't want you playing god. It's wrong." He shook his head. "No. I can't physically bring them back but I can make you see them in your dreams." I was confused. "I don't understand." He chuckles. "You miss this person. They were your lover way back then. I can make you feel that they are there in your head." I hesitated a bit. "Its okay Lance. I don't want anything." Lance nods. "Its cool. If you need anything just call me or tell me at work. I'll be heading out. Night shiro." He walked out as I held my chest. Could I be able to see adam and feel him again? I quickly ran out and stopped Lance. "Lance. Uh I changed my mind." He smiled. "Alright."

~

After a few minutes he said the spell. He waved and left but not before he said the side effects. I just wanted to see and feel adam in my embrace once again. And in a first time in a while I shut my eyes and saw my old cottage. I looked around everything still the same. Paintings and objects still in ther place. As I smiled I heard soft singing as I followed it. I smiled brightly seeing Adam. "Takashi you know its rude to stare." I wrapped my arms around his waist smelling his scent that smelled so earthy. "Its just you're so beautiful..i miss you so much." He chuckles as he turns and looks up at me.

"Whats got you so affectionate? Is it your parents again? Are you stressed out with the marriage arrangement?" I pressed my face against his neck as I held tightly. "Can we run away together? Just us? No looking back?" He pushed me away slowly looking up at my dark eyes as he smiled. "You know both of us would do that but look at the reality Takashi. No one in their right mind would love the sight of two grown men together. I rather be with you here and now than seeing you dead." I started to tear up because I died and came back as a monster. "Adam. I'm not happy with the outcome. I need you. I don't want to go into war knowing it would be the last time I see you. I love you.."

tears slipped out as I felt his warm touch as he wiped them away. "What's the matter? Why are you acting so emotional? I would always be here for you Taka. I know its a sin for us and we would get our heads cut off but I will always and truly have you close to my heart. I'll never forget you." He closed the space as he kissed me deeply and I craved for more. His soft touches and warm body. I missed him even more than before. Adam I need you. I want you so bad. I don't want to keep living a life without you. "Adam, let us make love~" he flushed as he pulled my hand towards his room. I felt my heart beat for him. I never thought I wanted him this badly.

As we came down from our high our legs tangled together under the chalky sheets as he laid on my chest. He drew circles across it as I held tighter. "That was amazing Takashi. I'll never get tired of it." I pulled his face as we kissed deeply as he smiled. "Hey, before you go here." He pulled something from his drawer as he placed it on my hand. I gasp a bit seeing the ring he had given me all those years ago. "I know you'll be married to a woman but I like to think you'd be my husband." I smiled as I pulled him closer as we shared one of the deepest kisses i have ever given. "You were always my husband Adam. I'll see you again."

He nods as a light faced and I woke up with tears on my face. I sat up and see pidge at the foot of my bed. "I saw you crying. It was worrying me. Are you okay?" I wiped my eyes. "I'm fine. Is Keith back?" Pidge shook her head. "Shiro? When do vampires sleep?" I got up and moved by her as I got ready for the day. "Hey! I'm trying to be nice! Why are pushing me away?" I groan in annoyance. "Pidge it doesn't have anything to do with you." She cosses her arms. "You do realize my emotions are tied to this house!" The house started to shake as I hissed at her. "Enough! You're like a child! If you want to know I asked Lance to see someone who is no longer alive! Why must you pester me! Honestly!" I turned away from her stare as I got a blood bag.

"Who did you see? They must have been really important if you cried.." i shot a warning glare but she didn't seem phased. Are vampire's not scary anymore? "Why are you so interested? Its important to me not you. Stop meddling into other people's lives. I get that you miss your old life and which to be alive but life doesn't work out like that. I was supposed to die years ago. Not come back to life as a fucking vampire! I rather be dead knowing I'll be with the love of my life. Now I'll never see them because I'll be in hell. So pidge if that's what you wanted to hear then your welcome. You pissed me off." I grabbed my jacket and slammed the door and went for a jog. I need a breather.

"Takashi?" That voice. No it can't be right? I look behind me and see him.

"Adam?"

A/n update finally. I wrote this last week and didn't post sorry lol hope you enjoyed.