COUNTRYHUMANS ONESHOTS (COMPLETED)

ask all my friends and they'll tell you I'm the nicest

1125 words.

8/25/2019

OOF i changed up some stuff. I really like this uwu. Sorry for being inactive.

WARNINGS: ᵢₛᵢₛ AND SLIGHT NSFW (AKA LIMES)

"Martial! Come on!" Philipines yelled, dragging his brother up Japan's front steps. "Geez, you're so slow."

Martial sighed, getting off his phone. Pip was excited to hang out with Japan and SK. "I don't even know why you're taking me with you."

"Because you would just stay at home lying on the floor," Pip said. Martial grumbled. He would honestly rather do that than go to Japan's. The bruise on his hip still hurt, even though ᵢₛᵢₛ had shoved him down the stairs four days ago.

Pip knocked at the door, bouncing on the balls of his feet. Japan opened it, smiling when she saw Pip.

"Hey, Pip!" Japan said cheerfully. "South and Kaz are already here. Do you want some water, Martial?"

He took the water. "Who's Kaz?" Martial asked, taking a sip.

"My boyfriend," Pip said smugly. Martial started choking on the water, making Japan giggle.

"The fuck are you laughing at," Martial glared at Japan. The smaller country looked scared before someone put a hand on her shoulder.

It was Imperial Japan. "Hello Martial Law," Ms. Japan said, looking down at Martial. She was extremely tall and muscular, effectively intimidating Martial. "Please don't use that language in my house."

"Y-yes ma'am," Martial stuttered. Ms. Japan motioned for the brothers to enter the house.

After she went to the kitchen, Pip started laughing. "'Y-y-y-yes m-ma'am'," he imitated Martial, making Japan giggle. Martial scowled at Pip who just shrugged and walked upstairs with Japan. Martial walked to the living room and angstily sat on the couch. 

"Get off my shit."

Martial let out a high pitched squeak as someone pushed him off the couch and unto the hard floor. He went to glare at an angry North Korea. Martial glowered at North and pushed himself back up on the couch.

"Why are you here?" Martial snapped. North looked at him like he was stupid.

"South is my brother, idiot," North said.

"Brother? Isn't she a girl?"

"Care to repeat that?" North looked over at Martial with a murderous look. He shivered.

But before North could strangle Martial, Pip leaned on the living room door entrance. "Hey, Ms. Japan is taking us to the store. Wanna come?"

"No," the two simultaneously. Pip chuckled before getting dragged off by Kaz.

"Don't have too much fun boys," South said, wiggling his eyebrows. North yelled something in Korean, which made his younger brother giggle.

-------------

Five. Fucking. Hours.

It had been five hours. Five hours of Martial doing nothing but listening to music. He didn't know or care what North was doing. His phone finally gave out, Fall Out Boy suddenly cutting off and Martial groaning loudly.

"Finally want to spend time with me, 오빠?" North teased as Martial violently threw his shitty phone across the room.

"What fuck did you just call me?" Martial asked, glaring.

"I thought you would know, Mr. Toughguy. Didn't you date South?"

"No, she had a crush on me. Why do you care? Jealous a pretty girl actually liked me?" Martial snapped back.

"First off, South's a guy. Second, he realized you were an asshole," North grinned maniacally.

"At least China doesn't want my dick."

North gasped dramatically, clutching his shirt as if he had just been insulted. "Shut up!" North said, playfully punching Martial right on his hip. Martial gasped, instinctively clutching his sore hip. North's jokingly offended expression quickly turned into one of concern. "Martial? Are you ok?"

"I'm fine, dick- hey!" Martial squeaked as North pulled his pants down just enough to see the bruise. "The hell are you trying to do?"

"Who did this?" North asked. Martial was about to give him a snappy reply when he saw his eyebrows knit together in worry.

" ᵢₛᵢₛ," Martial whispered, hoping it was quiet enough for North to hear.

"Why would he do this? Isn't  ᵢₛᵢₛ your friend?" North asked. Martial turned his face away from North. The Korean sighed before grabbing Martials hand and dragging him off the couch.

"H-hey! Where are we going?" Martial stuttered.

"Bathroom. 어머니 keeps her bandages there," North said. The two reached the bathroom where North hoisted Martial up onto the counter. It was easy since Martial was quite light. Martial blushed furiously, mind jumping from one explicit situation to the next. North reached up above Martial, opening the mirror to grab the bandages.

"U-uh North, don't you think the bruise is a little, uh, far down my leg?" Martial asked, hoping he wouldn't have to literally strip down for the country.

"Just relax, 오빠. I don't bite," North said, gripping his fingers around the waistband of Martials sweatpants. This only increased the smaller countries worry.

North gently dragged the pants down over to where the bruise was covered by Martial's boxer fabric. The smaller country stared at North with slight dread. The taller paused, seeming to asses the situation.

He grabbed the edge of Martial's boxers. The smaller closed his eyes, waiting for the worst. 

"You know, this is a bad idea. I would have to wrap the bandage around here," North lightly traced his hand around an imaginary bandage, making Martial flinch at how close he was going to... a certain area. "and I would have to... I'll just grab some Arnica." He quickly put the bandages back, grabbing a small container of Arnica Gel. He dabbed a bit onto the tips of his finger and rubbed in into the bruised area. After the gel was sufficiently rubbed in, North quickly pulled up Martials pants. Martial let out a breath he didn't even know he was holding in.

North looked at Martial, hands still resting on his hips. Martial looked back, lips slightly apart. North hesitantly leaned closer, causing Martial to inhale sharply. The two leaned closer and closer until-

"I said don't have to much fun."

The two looked to where South was leaning on the doorway, smirking. Behind him, Kaz and Pip were whispering and giggling to each other, looking back at North and Martial. They blushed and quickly got as far away from each other as the bathroom let them. Martial slid down from the counter and quickly left the bathroom, North tailing after him.

"Let's just go," Martial told his brother.

"Awww, ok," Pip whined. He kissed Kaz on the cheek before walking downstairs and to the door. Martial followed after him.

"Wait!"

Martial turned around, staring face to face with North.

"Do you want to hang out sometimes?" North asked. Martial stared at him, dumbfounded.

"Uh, sure! Hold on," Martial said, pulling out a piece of paper and quickly jotting down his number. "Here's my number."

"Nice," the Korean quickly took the paper and stuffed it into his pocket.

"Uh... thanks for helping me out," Martial said, wincing at how explicit it sounded.

"No problem," North grinned. Pip dragged Martial out the door. North turned around to face South.

"Find out where ᵢₛᵢₛ lives. I need to pay him a visit."