The Rose and Her Thorns

depression

i feel my heart sink down to my chest
and then slam through the concrete flooring,
through the crusts of the earth;
creating a hole through the inner core.
the breath catches in my throat
like a match catching flame,
it burns until a lump puts it out.
my shoulders drop,
my knees give out.
i become numb.
i become broken.
i feel like i'm scattered into a
million pieces on the ground.
the pain doesn't stop;
not until the rain comes,
it pours down my cheeks,
as hot as ice.
and then when it's all over,
i was hoping for a rainbow
but instead i got a migraine
pounding on my head
as if it were a locked door.
but it didn't open.
i refused to let it budge.
i don't think i can ever open up again.
i build walls higher than mountains,
i dig moats,
i fill them with my blood, sweat and tears.
i shut the windows,
i board them up and let the drapes down.
the outside looks the way the inside feels,
lifeless.