You're Not in this Alone *The final book in the We'll Carry on Series*

Intrelude

I woke up not feeling right, something was just… off. I could tell the moment I stood up by the pain shooting down my spine. Two days ago, the night that Gerard re-proposed I felt fine, healthy even. My body was bizarre in that way. I wasn’t going to complain though, because I was lucky enough to be alive and there was really no need to worry Gerard over something silly. The sun was lurking over the house, bleeding through the windows of our three bedroom house as Gerard and Bandit got ready to venture out for the day. They were going to have father, daughter time with Mikey and Alicia, a time that the desperately needed.

“Are you sure you’ll be okay alone?” Gerard asked, hesitant about leaving me. I practically had to shove him towards the door. Not because I didn’t want him at home, but because I knew he needed time to be normal again.

“Yes, Lindsey will be here soon anyway. Go, have fun with your brother and Bandit! You both need it. Now kiss me and leave!” Okay, I had lied, Lindsey wasn’t coming over today, but I wanted them to have a nice time with Mikey. I puckered my lips, giggling as he grabbed my shoulders and kissed me several times on my lips.

“Bandit, baby, be good for daddy, okay?” I picked up my smiling daughter and placed her on my hip, sweeping her lose hair out of her eyes. She had her hair in cute pigtails that day, she was fucking adorable.

“Otay mommy! I wuv you!” Bandit bubbled, kissing my cheek sloppily but lovingly. I sat her down on the floor, where she waddled towards Gerard, who took her hand instantly.

I followed them out of the door, kissing them each one more time before they set off the the car and left to the city. I sighed as I clutched my side in pain, and turned towards the door, stepping back through the threshold of the door. I instantly collapsed on the couch, the remote tight in my hand. I aimlessly turned the T.V. on to some show I wouldn’t pay attention to and stared at the ceiling, my hands folded behind my head. I still couldn’t decipher what my encounter with Elena-in a dream, of course- had meant. She had been so cryptic.

***** 

Lighting struck a tree behind me, causing me to whip around quickly as I clutched my chest.

“The lightning scares the shit out of me too.” I heard a familiar, warm laugh to my side. I saw Elena’s warm face, smiling at me.

“ELENA!” I jolted, jumping to hug her. Wait, why was she… “What are you doing here, where are we?” Now that I had to chance to really look at my surroundings.

I noticed that behind the bare tree were the moon and a dark midnight sky to its left and the sun, high and powerful and its orange sunset sky to its right. The grass was a vibrant and luscious green and there was an old cemetery in the darkness. I also noticed a tire swing tied in the light.

“We’re in your dream world, my dear girl. I hear you’re sick again.” She pursed her lips worriedly, leading me towards the tree.

“Unfortunately so. Bandit and Gerard aren’t taking it too well. Honestly, neither am I. I thought you said I would have longer with them.” My voice echoed through the sky above us.

“Your time on earth is only done once you’ve given up. Are you ready to give up?” Her hand rested on my arm in a nurturing way. Her question struck me, leaving me without an answer.

Was I ready to give up? Did I really want to continue on like this, living within the numbered days, counting and waiting until death took me once and for all? Seeing how my cancer affected my family and friends, that was more torturous than any disease; that really killed me. They deserved so much more than I could give them now. Bandit was young enough that if Gerard fell in love again, with someone healthy, she would thing that his new wife was her mommy. Okay, ouch. That thought hurt worse than the pain constantly coursing through my veins.