Corey Fogelmanis Imagines

18|| Wherever I Go

I've never been the best at conveying my feelings to people. I just lock up and it never goes as planned. So I sit here, in the bedroom of my childhood best friend on the seat next to his window, and lock up.

I can't say to him all of the things I want to. I can't say I'm glad he rejected me in the 5th grade because we would've probably dated then drifted apart like so many of those short-lived relationships go.

If only, my feelings lessened over time. If that happened, maybe this would be easier. Maybe we'd hug and say goodbye, then make sure to hang out a couple of times for the rest of our lives, and I'd be fine with that.

I wish I could be fine with that, but next to Corey, and all I can think about it how much it would tear me apart to only see a sliver of him. Getting glimpses of him here and there or seeing none of him at all for the rest of our lives  would hurt exponentially. However, our impending college journeys are making that our future. 

"I'm going to miss you a lot, you know." I laugh sadly at his confession. "I don't think you will." I say to him. "I think I'm going cry, leave from here while thinking about you every day. You on the other hand are going to be sad for a moment because it feels right." I take a shaky breath to steady my emotions. "But you'll be fine, you'll make new friends like you always do, and that'll be that."

He puts his hand on my knee to be comforting while also trying to stop my words. "That'll be great for you and I'm excited to see who you become. I really am, but I'm going to be stuck. You know, hung up on you."

I laugh and wipe a tear from my eye. "I guess what I'm trying to say is, a lot of childhood friends fall apart after high school and I don't want that to be us. And even though I can't get over you, I want you to know I always want to be in your life no matter how small the role. I care for you. A lot." This time he wipes a tear from my eye and takes control of the conversation.

"Hung up? You don't..." He trials off trying to find out how to ask his following question but I interrupt him, almost annoyed he actually hasn't picked up on this before. But then again, being annoyed at him is unfair on my part because I hid my feelings from him on purpose.

"Yes Corey! I like you!" I gesture towards him for emphasis on 'you'. "I've liked you since the fifth grade." I whisper dejectedly, embarrassed I'm about to get rejected once more.

"We're such morons." He says to no one but I sniffle and look at him in concern. "How? Clearly that's just me."

"I've loved you since the first grade. I always will." A beat passes and I can feel my hearth through my chest. "And really, I never stopped." My mind quits working. He likes me back. He's always liked me back. Loved me even. Loves me.

I look into his eyes, and he's serious, I know he's serious because if he was lying he'd be bouncing his knee up and down. But there he is, perfectly still and telling no lies.

I do something much bolder than I ever have, I kiss him. His hand rests on my waist while the other cradles my cheek. It's both short-lived but meaningful.

"I can't believe I wasted so much time." Corey's voice cracks with emotion and I realize something, I don't ever want to be without him.

"It's okay Corey, we still have the future to look forward to." His hand slips in mine and little flutters appear in my stomach. "I hope you mean that, because I like you a lot."

I smile up at him and let my hand rest on his arm so he'd look at me. "Of course I mean that." I think about college experiences I don't want to miss though. Images flash in my kind of experiences he wouldn't want to miss either.

"Do you think it's a bad idea though? The long distance thing?" I question studying his face for a reaction. "I just don't want you to miss anything because we're 5 hours apart all the time." I confess.

He picks up a purple monkey and sets it back down in thought. "Have you ever heard of the long game?" I heart swells, maybe he really does like me. I nod with a small smile on my face, my cheeks are significantly warmer than moments ago.

"Well," his hand finds mine again as he continues. "I'm in it for the long game if you are."

"I'm in." And answer and we kiss again.
_______

The long game honestly wasn't that long. After freshmen year I had a boy friend for a month while Corey had a girl friend for two. We texted each other all the time and we both confessed the feeling of being with our short-term partners was nothing compared to the moment we shared before school.

Spring break

I'm in my room, trying to hang a poster up but the top of it is too high for my 5'4" build. I hear a voice behind me speak up. "Let me do that for you." I recognize the voice instantly and yell out "Corey!" While spinning around to tackle him in a hug.

I've missed him so much I don't let him move from our hug for 3 full minutes. I look up and say the three words he said to me that I never reciprocated.

"I love you Corey, and I always have." His lips part in shock and immediately he kisses me, one of his hands are in my hair and I really do feel loved. When he pulls back he just studies my face and I look away from his eyes due to slight embarrassment from being this intimate with him.

"I don't think I can do the long game." He suddenly breaks the silence. I step back a bit not expecting those words to leave his mouth. "What do you mean?" I ask, trying not to show I'm hurt.

"No I mean, I don't want the game part anymore. I just wanna be with you. Only you."

I'm almost at a loss for words. I can't believe someone like Corey, loves me. I can't believe we even found each other let alone grew up together.

"I just want to be with you too." I answer. "Only you." I attempt to kiss him again but my five year old little sister is walking by the door and sees.

"MOM!" She runs down the hallway but I hear her next words faded. "She's doing sex with Corey!" My eyes pop open as Corey cries of laughter. I run out of the room yelling at her, hoping my mom wouldn't assume she even knows what that is.

Good thing is, she didn't. Bad thing is, my dad gave me a new rule. The door has to be three inches open when he's in my room at all time.
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A/N: went to college this week and cried the most leaving my best friend:(( also missing hugs from my mom and best friend and no one here gives me hugs:( but it's ok I guess. Also for some reason I thought I'd be cured of my introvert tendencies the moment I stepped foot on campus. But I've just hung out with one of my friends from school and napped the rest of the time or hung in my dorm bc my roommate is gone 24/7. I think I'll be okay but currently this ain't it. I honestly like school tho so my plan is to get a study buddy when classes start and work from there idk

And did u see the st3 reference lol