The mask

Memories hurt

 (Thank you all for reading and being supportive. Though i have school in three days ;w; so i will update a little less often. Though i will continue this  check out @Vee_the_bee she does so well on that story i loved it and she is very nice. Give her love please!) 

It had been so long. So very long since i felt this way for anyone. I couldn't let him go. I didn't want to if i did i felt like he was going to turn into dust and just die on me. I closed my eyes as tears fell down my face. "Please....hold on please" I shivered out as i felt his grip tighten on me. My mind racing a thousand miles a minute and wanting to hope that he will wake up and i will see the eyes that he hid because he denied that his eyes glowed and shined. They were pretty he was beautiful and he denied it so much that it angered me. He always lied to himself about what and how he was. I leaned on him on the bed of the operation table. The doctors were quiet for a while."Sir could you try and see if holding his hand while they tried to help him?" I nodded and sat down he gripped my hand tight."I'm not going to leave you ame i promise let them help you..." He loosed his grip and the doctors and nurses helped him and stitched his wounds. Just seeing all of his wounds made me want to puke as well as cry out in anger or beat the shit out of someone. He destroyed the body that was so perfect. He starved himself,cut,took pain killers that weren't safe. All because he never seemed to see how beautiful he really was. Who blinded you america if i ever find out i will make see hell its self. I clenched his hand harder and i felt his thumb rubbing my hand slowly. I put my forehead on his head and let the tears go down my face and freely escape my eyes. I didn't care about my phone being spammed. It went oof multiple times a second. 

Hours later. 

It had been five hours sense they operated on him and i was there. When he fell asleep and his pulse went normal and calmed down and he was fixed. All i wanted to do was know if he would make it. Would i be able to tell him how much i and yearned for his laugh,smile,and just him. He was all i ever and ever would want. I was just so unsure he felt the same. I should have just taken him when i had the chance. I should have.....been there, done something to help him, Protect him and tell him the truth! I clenched my teeth and cried again. He made me happy and strive to be better than whom i really was. He made me who i wanted to be so badly and more.  "America......." I said choking down some spit that had clogged my mouth. I heared a small creak in the door. I snapped my head to see Americas younger brother. He was holding something that looked like a letter. He was crying and looked like he had been for hours."R-r-" I nodded and he gulped and walked in. Australia sat down and touched Americas face a bit. He pulled it away when he moved. "Is he--?" I looked away. "I don't know no one does..." I cried once again. Australia cried with me and hugged me as well. I usually would push him away but i felt his pain in a way. All i want to be is his lover and the one he cries on. You can always count on me and trust me...so why did you have to leave me. I leaned my head further down and hummed a song that i knew he liked. I felt him move a bit so i smiled. Even though all i wished was him to come back. 

Though if he was suffering and in pain i don't want him to suffer. Just because i love him and want to be with him. All i want to do is tell you how i feel than you can leave. 

sorry it's short but i'm having a lot going on right now. So i will continue this is a bit sorry ;w;