The mask

I never will

 Hello i know i have not been active and updating my wattpad for my lovely followers. A whole lot is happening in my life again also school. So i will try to update it as much as i can as well as i could and can. Thank you

-Nerdfox12 or Nerdfox13 on amino

                                                                 

What am i doing here. I wanted to feel free but yet i felt trapped and only a few moments ago did i feel free but not really. All i know is to go on and keep going. Though now all i want to do is fall asleep and never wake up. The only one who made my life worth waking up for and seeing everyday was russia. He may never know this but i want to tell him how much of a difference he made to me. After the cold war we didn't talk until we became dorm mates. He made it worth it. His cat was his only hope before though russia was one as well. Russia was holding his hand and aussie was in the room. He knew what was happening but could barley move at all. No one knows if i am gonna make it or not. Not even i know if i am gonna give up and or fight one last time.  Russ believes in me and i don't wanna ruin that. Suddenly i felt like a thousand eyes were watching me. I gulped and then heared a little song that was sung in all languages. Then i heared a small voice start to sing a song. I felt my entire pain drown away in a moment.  People began to chime in and sang with the russian accented singing. 

Russias pov

"My son. I want to tell you i never once thought that you were a mistake nor that you were any less valuable than the others. So please just fight a little longer i.." His voice trembled as he cried. I held onto ame's hand and everyone began to fill the room with complements. I felt ame move a bit and my head shot up. He mumbled something that i couldn't make out. "Meri....take your time to talk. Were all here for you no matter what." The room fell silent apart from ames family weeps. " I....am..sor-ry" His words were disconnected and stalled. I felt my heart break more than it already had. His hand felt cold and his breathing fell. "Mer....meri!?" I jolted up and checked the heart monitor. It was slowing down. He gripped my hand and i looked down at him. He had a sweet soft smile. That smile that hid how much pain and stress he had faded away. This one was chilling yet warming. Such as getting lost in a maze that you know the way out of. He turned to me and opened his eyes slightly. Drowsy red and blue eyes peaked out of his eyelashes. I knelt down and touched his face feeling the tears on the verge of falling like a spout that had broken. He put his face into my open palm and looked at me sweetly. Everyone was silent and the room felt like the hope and spirits dropped and was snatched by a thief that had no sympathy at all. I gulped as he opened his mouth  and lipped a word. 

My entire world caved in as the noise around me screamed but all i could do was drift. Stare and wonder what happened. How and did it all happen. I felt the tears roll down my cheeks and flow freely no chance in hiding it and or stopping its flow. It was a relief but i was worried. 

"I'm never going to..." I mumbled out as the voices around us echoed.