Zia: whhhhy
Fallacy: cmon you know this'll be funny.
Zia: tru dat. Okay deal.
Fallacy: sweetness. Good luck *snaps fingers and yeets*
Zia: SQUAD LET'S GO!
Venus: what's up?
Rain: sup.
Zia: Author Chan has once again, given me another dare for everyone.
Jazmine: oh fun.
Zia: it's another song, but it's not from Hammie or Heathers.
Venus: BE MORE CHI-
Zia: or that.
Rain: Dear Evan Hansen?
Zia: nope. Legally Blonde.
Jazmine: oh.
Zia: this'll be fun.
Venus: THERE RIGHT THERE! *points at Rain* look at that tan well, tented skin, look at the killer shape he's in, look at that slightly stubbly chin *whips out her gay flag* oh please he's gay, totally gay!
Sans: I'm not about to celebrate, every trait to indicate. The totally straight expatriate! This guy's not gay I say not gay!
Everyone: that is the elephant in the room, well is it relevant to assume, that a man who wears perfume-
Jazmine: *holds up a bottle of axe with surgical gloves*
Everyone: is automatically radically gay!
Nightmare: but look at his coiffed and crispy locks!
Katniss: look at his silk translucent sock!
Rain: wtf.
Ink: there's the external paradox. Look what we're seeing.
Goth: what are we seeing?
Ink: is he gay?
Venus: of course he's gay!
Ink: *whips out EU flag* or European?
Everyone: ohhhhhh... *looks at one another* gay or European? It's hard to guarantee. Is he gay *Venus waves* or European *Zia dabs*
Palette: well hey don't look at me *holds up hands in surrender*
Jazmine: you see they bring their boys up different in those charming foreign ports! They play peculiar sports-
Jazmine, Zia and Venus: in shiny shirts and tiny shorts!
Everyone: gay or foreign fella? The answer could take weeks! They both say things like:
Rain: ciao bella!
Everyone: while they kiss you on both cheeks!
Venus: oh please!
Everyone: gay or European? So many shades of grey-
Zia: *yeets a copy of 50 Shades onto the floor*
Jazmine: Zia wtf.
Dream: depending on the time of day, the French go either way!
Everyone: is he gay or European or-
Tris: THERE RIGHT THERE! Look at that condescending smirk! Seen it on every guy at work. That is a metro hetero jerk. That guy's not gay I say no way!
Everyone: that is the elephant in the room! Well is it relevant to pressume, that a hottie in that costume-
Rain: *appears dressed like Lafayette* -_-
Katniss: is automatically radically-
Tobias: ironically chronically-
Raven: certainly pertinently-
Jesse: genetically medically-
Everyone: gay! Officially gay! Officially gay gay gay- DAMMIT! Gay or European-
Petra: so stylish and relaxed!
Rain: *flips hair*
Everyone: is he gay or European?
Venus: I think his chest is waxed?
Zia: but they bring their boys up different there, it's culturally diverse! It's not a fashion curse!
Everyone: if he wears a kilt or bears a purse! Gay or just exotic? I still can't crack the code.
Nightmare: yes is accent is hypnotic (not) but his shoes are pointed toed!
Everyone: huh. Gay or European? So many shades of grey-
Zia: *slams down her copy of Fifty Shades Darker*
Jazmine: Zia stop.
Shantae: but if he turns out straight I'm free at eight on Saturday~
Zia: where'd you come from?
Shantae: idfk man.
Everyone: is he gay or European? Gay or European? GAY OR EURO-
Lukas: WAIT A MINUTE! Give me a chance to crack this guy, I have an idea I'd like to try.
Jesse: the floor is yours.
Venus: *sits Rain into a chair*
Lukas: so Mr. Johnson this alleged affair with Ms. Shantae has been going on for...
Rain: 2 years.
Lukas: and your first name is...?
Rain: Rainmin.
Lukas: and your boyfriend's name is..?
Rain: Caboose 💗
Everyone: *shocked gasps*
Rain: I'm sorry! I misunderstood! You said boyfriend, I thought you said best friend! Caboose is my... best friend!
*the door gets kicked down and broken into a million pieces*
Zia: WHAT THE FUCK?!
Caboose: you bastard!
Rain: o shit.
Caboose: *takes off helmet* You lying bastard!
Rain: I'm dead.
Caboose: that's it, I won't cover you any more! PEOPLE! I have a big announcement! This man *points at Rain* IS GAY AND EUROPEAN!
Everyone: WOAH!
Caboose: and neither is disgrace!
Everyone: OH!
Caboose: you've got to stop you're being a completely closet case!
Everyone: D'OH!
Caboose: it's me, not her, he's seeing! *holds up a gay flag* no matter what he says! I swear he never ever ever swing the other way! *marches up to Rain* you are so gay! *pokes him in his chest* you big parfait! You flaming boy band cabaret! *sticks the flag in his hair*
Rain: I'M STRAIGHT!
Caboose: *lenny face* you were not yesterday~
Rain: *turns red*
Caboose: so if I may, I'm proud to say: HE'S GAY!
Everyone: AND EUROPEAN!
Caboose: HE'S GAY!
Everyone: AND EUROPEAN!
Caboose: *picks up Rain bridal style* HE'S GAY!
Everyone: AND EUROPEAN AND GAY!!!
Rain: fine okay I'm gay!
Caboose: *kisses Rain*
Rain: *kisses back*
Everyone: HOORAY!!!!!
*end of song*
Venus: I fucking called it.
Zia: see y'all next time!
YOU ARE READING
Zia's Ask Or Dare Alternate Universe of Shenanigans
RandomHello my geeks and peeps, my explainers and entertainers, my little oodle lellelies, Zia here. Welcome to my revamped Ask or Dare book. This book will feature many of the characters from the original, and many more. And with that being said, let's j...
