Fallingforyou // Matty Healy

Distant

I'm sat in a diner around the corner from the Palladium in LA with Suki. The 1975 were playing a show there tonight and Suki happened to be doing a modelling gig in LA.

Up until I met Suki all those years ago, I'd never had a female friend really. I was so grateful to have her, especially now when I needed advice.

She stirred 6 sugars into her tea before taking a sip, looking at me in confusion when I shook my head at her. "I've had barely any sleep, don't judge me!"

I laugh at her, we order our food and I fiddle with the paper straw in my milkshake before it goes sodden without my realisation. I'm snapped out of my thoughts by Suki clicking her fingers in front of me.

"What's up buttercup? Don't say nothing cause I know you too well to know that's not true" she says, waggling her pointer finger at me.

Sitting up straighter, I sigh. "Matty's been really distant from me lately? I don't know whether it's stress or what but he just seems a bit out of it?"

Suki frowns "Distant? That doesn't like M, he thrives off being around you!"

"I've tried talking to him but he just pushes me away or just like brushes it off. I don't mean to sound like the clingy type cause I've never been, always been chilled out with him but I don't know Sukes" I twiddle my thumbs nervously, tears threatening to spill. 

He'd been acting differently lately, like not the usual Matty. It wasn't something I knew how to deal with and my anxiety was all over the place with it. I just wanted him to talk to me.

She slides out of the booth, moving onto my side and wrapping her arm around me "Come on Sting, let it all out."

At that I let the tears fall. Matty and I had been together for 7 years, I knew when something had changed. I felt like he was bored of me now, that's the way he acted anyway.

I arrived back at the venue 30 minutes before the show was due to start, everyone was in the dressing room when I opened the door. Suki giving me a comforting smile before I walked further into the room.

Spotting Matty instantly, I go towards him. "Good luck with the show tonight Darling."

He ignores me, keeping his head down and shifting to look away. I sigh in defeat "If you're going to act like this at least tell me what I've done wrong?"

Again, I'm met with silence. I get up off my knees and dust my hands before walking out the dressing room and towards the back of the venue.

I make my way back outside, pulling out a cigarette and lighting it. I could hear the thumping through the walls which indicated that the band were now on.

A pair of shoes appear next to me, looking up I spot Jamie looking confused. "Why're you not in there kid?" He says, ticking his head in the direction of the building.

Shrugging, I take another drag of my smoke and pull my arms tighter around myself. "Not really needed tonight, seem to be just pissing off Matty by breathing around him."

"I'd noticed he's been distant from you, think he's just stressed. You two are the strongest couple, it's not you. C'mon let's go back inside, I'll have a word with him after the show love."

Jamie guides me back into the theatre where Suki sits with open arms. I sit down next to her and slump in them, letting her play with my hair whilst I fell asleep dreaming of my happy Matty again.