Fallingforyou // Matty Healy

Euphoria

The lights were bright, electric blue blinding those who stepped in its path. I lean back into Matty, his hands gripping my waist tighter to keep balance as we swayed in rhythm with the music.

I close my eyes and let myself be taken to another world. I don't know how much alcohol I'd drank but it felt fucking good and all my senses were heightened. Matty turned me around so that I was facing him and kissed me deeply, my arms making their way around his neck and up to tug on his hair.

We were both blissfully unaware of everything around us, it was just us two in our euphoria. All that could be smelt was sweat and alcohol which would usually make me feel sick but the liquor in my system was in full swing.

Matty leans down, his teeth nipping at my ear before speaking "Feel so fuckin' good right now. You look insane"

I hum, "Same, I've missed this."

An unknown man approached the two of us on the dance floor, patting Matty on the shoulder. The two of them share a few coherent words before Matty turns back to me and leans down "M'just gonna go upstairs, someone wants to see me. I'll be right back."

In my hazy state I just nod at him and start to dance again to the music. The floor getting more and more flooded with people with each song.

Matty had been gone for over an hour now, the party was still in full swing, I start to feel more sober than I did before. The music was still blaring, the bass ricocheting off the walls and all of a sudden I felt overwhelmed by everything.

George makes his way past the bodies on the makeshift dance floor to me, lifting the drinks above his head so they didn't spill. He hands me a cup of whatever alcoholic beverage he had decided on, we knock cups and tip our heads back in unison.

"Why you over here on your own?" He shouts over the music, confusion etched on his face after looking around "Where the fuck is Matty?"

"Don't know, he disappeared an hour ago. Said something about going to see someone? Been really stressed recently so trying to let him have fun" I shout back.

George raises his eyebrows at me, nodding his head in the direction of the back of the house. I nod and take his hand so he can lead us out safely.

He grabs a cigarette from his jeans pocket, patting for another but frowning when he only found one. "We'll share, just needed a break from in there!"

I decided to ask George a question "G, if I ask you something will you be honest with me?"

"M'always honest with you Sting, can't lie to those puppy dog eyes" He says, pinching my cheek before handing me the cig.

"Has Matty said anything about breaking up with me recently? He's been really distant and I'm not sure what I've done wrong?" George frowns at this before shaking his head.

"He's been acting distant from everyone, it's weird. You haven't done anything but tell ya what, I'll keep an ear out for you."

I feel a tear run down my face which I didn't expect and neither did George. He pulls me into a hug, holding me tightly and making sure I'm ok.

"I'm sorry" I hiccup "I don't know where that came from, I just feel shitty recently and tonight's the only night he's talked to me and that's cause he's drunk. M'sorry."

George pulls us over to a spare chair, sitting me down and kneeling in front of me "You don't apologise to me for feeling down or crying ok? I'm Georgie, you know I'm here for you."

I start crying again, stupid alcohol, stupid brain. I start to have a panic attack out of nowhere. I hear George mutter under his breathe "Healy you clueless wanker" before clearing his throat and putting his arms around me.

"C'mon Sting, I need you to breathe with me. Remember like we used to do, follow me" He says softly, trying to bring me round.

Thing is I felt like I was drowning and I quickly sobered up in panic. It took a good 10 minutes but I felt myself start to calm down, still holding George's hand from exhaustion and desperation.

"Not had one of them in a while love, let's get you back to the hotel. I've had enough of this party anyway, we'll get you somewhere familiar and I'll call Caroline to be ready at the door. I'll come back for Matty."