She wanted to be okay, I promise you she did. She just wasn't. She wasn't okay, but she wasn't sad either. She just wasn't here. She just wasn't feeling.
For a long time, she pretended she was fine. She acted with smiles and laughter and random words she'd spew because that is what people needed from her: a dumb, incompetent blond. When she allowed her façade to break just a little, they all thought she was sad. Depressed. They took her to counseling, but she soon stopped because money was getting short and her mental health didn't matter anymore.
It wasn't like her therapist listened anyways. "Just write down your feelings and mood. It's normal, not feeling anything. You're in shock. It's all part of the healing process."
It was funny, really. It was like her own words to her therapist foreshadowed her future.
Numb.
Didn't want it to be real.
And unhealthy.
That's just normal, right?
